How to bodgey you car to get home or for other reasons

[VTLS1]

I cant seem to find any thread like this,so i thought i would start one.
Ever wondered what to do when your cars broken down with a leaky radiator or a broken fanbelt?
Have you gone in for a rwc/safety cert & been failed on something stupid?
Then read on & feel free to add more.

1.Radiators leaks-mix an omelete,pour it in the radiator,start car & wait. The omelete mix will move through your radiator then cook sealing up any minor holes

2.Fanbelt broken & dont have a replacement or cant afford one straight away-pinch your missus pantyhose & use that as a temp fix-will last up to a week if you dont hoon it around

3.Failed on leaky shocks for a rwc-degrease them while they are still on the car,dry them. then where the bolts are put a spanner on them to look like they have been undone. Then get a sheet of newspaper & a can of black spray paint,use the newspaper to coverup what you dont want to paint. Then just give your shocks a blast of black paint-instant new shocks.
Most of the time shocks that are leaking are still fine in the short term. It recommended to eventually replace your shocks.

4. Failed on engine leaks for a rwc-should never happen. Before you go in for a rwc completely degrease your engine bay & underneath your car. then give it a good gernie- Clean engine-no leaks you will pass 9 times out of 10.

5. Failed on steering wheel grip for a rwc-dont buy a new steering wheel. Drill some tiny holes into the back of the steering wheel,insert a nozzle of $2 glue,then squirt. Move the steering wheel grip back & forth so the glue goes everywhere,then leave for a few hours to set.
WARNING!!-Dont put to much glue in there,when you grip the wheel to move,then try to remove your hands you may find yourself glued to the wheel-dont laugh seen it happen-was funny though

6-Got an old shitebox that needs a rwc-problem is that big rust hole wont let you pass. Well if you know it wont pass fix it before you go in for a rwc. Grind qround the rust hole till bare metal is showwing-now the fun part-stuff a hole bunch of newspaper in the hole till its full then bog over it.
Sand then paint as per normal. No more rust hole & saves putting 4 litres of bog in the hole.
If you want to make this repair permanent & stronger use fibreglass matting over the repair.
Note:Not really recommended for structual rust. Same principal will apply & work but if you have to do it use fibreglass matting & steel fibre re-inforced filler(bog)

7.Exhaust mount broken-just wire it up with an old wire coat hanger. This will also pass a rwc,as long as no wire sticks out & the exhaust is secure.

8. Holes in your seat-this is a fail for rwc in some places. Easy fix just put sme old car seat covers on. Not many places will bother to remove the seat covers since most of them are tied on etc.

I have plenty more ideas,suggestions & bodgey jobs but lets see what else people do for various reasons.
PLEASE NOTE!-These ideas are simple bodgey fixs,some arent permenent & will require proper repair at some point in time but,if you need to get home or somewhere,need that car passed for a rwc then this will help

[Sabbath']

Do you have to add salt and pepper to the omelete mix for it to work?

[RiCeY]

Depends if your radiator is lactose intolerant.

[mattgreen]

god this is why we have shitboxes on the road

[RazzaCaine]

ive heard the omelette thing before, the problem is that knowing me id make the omelette and then eat it...

[VTLS1]

god this is why we have shitboxes on the road

suggestions 4,5 & 7 are completely legitimate & legal. i have done rwc inspections for customers in places i have worked in & was taught how to do these things by an old mechanic in one place i worked at. why pay 50 bucks for a new steering wheel when you dont have to,if holden used decent glue to begin with this problem wouldnt occur not only with the steering wheels but in some cases you also have loose fabric on the seats in a commodore due to rubbish glue used. degreasing your car & giving it a good wash should be done normally anyway. i have had to fail vehicles in the past simply because the engine bay is dirty. as for the newspaper in a hole trick,the newspaper mearly acts as support for the bog to hold to. eventually the newspaper disintegrates. i should have added though to make it more permanent & stronger fibreglass matting should be applied. which i will amend now.
we have shitboxes still on the road not because of bodgey repairs but because of poor maintenence & people who dont care about the car they drive more than anything else

[CANYONERO]

lol, i put 5 holes in my radiator when my fan went through it. how many eggs will i need?

[VTLS1]

the omelete mix does work but is only a temp fix for minor leaks if your stuck with no other option. salt & pepper is optional,eating it is up to you. recommend thorough radiator flush at first opportunity followed by proper permanent repair or replacement

[VTLS1]

lol, i put 5 holes in my radiator when my fan went through it. how many eggs will i need?

might have to buy a chicken farm for that one,lol. might be cheaper to just buy another radiator though

[CANYONERO]

well, we ended up removing it, drying it out, pinching the fins that were leaking and sealing with epoxy glue (stuck in a small town on a sunday 2 hours from adelaide) but yeah $600 later i had a new radiator and the fan and hub were extra

[Excale]

Very nice post mate.

[VTLS1]

Very nice post mate.

glad its appreciated.

heres a couple of others:

1. How to get rid of carbon deposits on your valves without pulling the head off your engine-for carby vehicles only
first warm the car up,then open your bonnet(duh,lol)
remove your air filter assembly to access your carby.
average idle is around 1000 rpm for most cars. with the filter off use one hand to increase the rpm to around 2-3000rpm or higher
(or even a bit higher but dont rev the shite out of it & make sure to keep it at a constant rev!! this is important)
then with the other hand slowly pour a cup of water down your carby.
by now some of you are thinking holy shite is this guy nuts,water & petrol dont mix etc. answer is yes i am crazy but not nuts
what happens is the water burns off the carbon deposits on your valves,because the engines warm & revved up a bit it does nothing but burn
the carbon off your valves. this works & is real old school.
i have seen this done in various ways for injected engines & done it myself but its a bit more complicated & tricky for the average joe

2: fanbelt squealing like a bastard,rub the inside of a banana peel or bacon rind on the fanbelt(obviously the side where it runs against the pulleys
doesnt always work & doesnt always make it disappear completely but worth a go if you got no choice.
isnt permanent & again recommend proper repair at first opportunity.
your fanbelt usually squeals in the first place because its stretched to buggery & will require replacement. also check your tensioners as they may be on their way out which could also be why your fanbelts a bit loose.

3: cars missing like a bugger,check your spark plugs as you might have one or 2 fouled plugs. if so get a bit of sandpaper & just give them a good clean up. should resolve the problem but you eventually will have to suss out why they got fouled in the first place.

4: never throw out your chinese takeaway plastic containers. bloody handy to put your nuts,bolts,screw etc in. they are clear so you can see whats in them,easy to write on the lid whats in them & your able to stack them. if your going to pull something apart & dont have these just shoot down to the local stationary shop or supermarket & get some handy clear seal bags. then if for arguments sake you pull the whole front of your car apart you can have one bag for headlight bits,one for guard bits etc. just write on the bag where they came from. then when you go to put it back together you will know straight away what goes where etc. you will also be able to tell whats missing right away.

5:have a commodore with a factory radio? well you dont need no fancy genuine holden stereo removal tools. just get a bit of wire coathanger cut into two reasonable lengths,then bend the lenghts to roughly the distance between removal holes & hey presto instant genuine stereo removal tool.

c'mon guys & gals,you cant have all been raised on if its broke throw it away & buy another. some of you must be able to throw in your 2 cents worth. at this rate i'll have no tricks of the trade left up my sleeve,lol. so add your own.
again i will add,some of the repair methods are not permanent & will require proper repair at first available opportunity
in this little segment suggestion 2 with the fanbelt is the only one that will need proper repair. suggestion 3 will help you out but as has been said you will have to figure out why one or more plugs are fouled. the rest is just handy hints & a bit of common sense. before anyone says anything about sanding your plugs etc with sandpaper,it does no harm. machines are even sold with emery paper(sandpaper of sorts) attachments for cleaning your plugs up.
good luck,have fun & happy motoring

[illusionalvr]

if you lose the wheel nuts for your stockies just weld them on.

[VTLS1]

if you lose the wheel nuts for your stockies just weld them on.

would work well.....until you got a flat & needed to change it in the middle of nowhere,lol
1 gold star for effort & thought
if you happen loose a set of wheel nuts for whatever reason,this is a safer & easier solution: 2 wheel nuts on 4 stud hub will suffice as a temp fix only or if 5 stud hub 3 wheel nuts & 6 stud hub 4 wheel nuts. if not enough wheel nuts just pinch them off the other wheels on your vehicle. this is a temp fix only & i recommend getting a couple of wheel nuts to replace lost ones at first opportunity

[wortus]

Also if you get a hole in your fuel tank an need an emergency repair you can shove the corner of a cake of soap into the hole and twist it off, the soap reacts with the fuel and the leak stops straight away. It's a good fix to get you out of trouble an can be done with petrol pouring out of the hole.

[VTLS1]

Also if you get a hole in your fuel tank an need an emergency repair you can shove the corner of a cake of soap into the hole and twist it off, the soap reacts with the fuel and the leak stops straight away. It's a good fix to get you out of trouble an can be done with petrol pouring out of the hole.

nice one dude. have heard that one a few years ago but as i havent tried it didnt add it in. could be especially good for the stupid plastic tanks most cars have now

[wana s' charge stock vt]

in my old 76mdl gallant with a magna motor in it, the fuel pump shit it self and i used the wiper bottle squirter to get fuel to the carbi, would get 5 mins at 100kph before having to refill wiper washer bottle,

give the wipers a squirt and fill up the carbi

seen it on bush mechanics thats were i got the idea from..... bush mechanics is a group of aborig' guy's out the bush and just keep fixing shit hat breaks.. like they got a flat Tyre and filled it with hay and kept driving lol.


edit- sorry about the spelling, was watching UFC too

[VTLS1]

in my old 76mdl gallant with a magna motor in it, the fuel pump shit it self and i used the wiper bottle squirter to get fuel to the carbi, would get 5 mins at 100kph before having to refill wiper washer bottle,

give the wipers a squirt and fill up the carbi

seen it on bush mechanics thats were i got the idea from..... bush mechanics is a group of aborig' guy's out the bush and just keep fixing shit hat breaks.. like they got a flat Tyre and filled it with hay and kept driving lol.


edit- sorry about the spelling, was watching UFC too

good one dude. a pumps a pump at the end of the day & if it gets ya home thats the main thing even at a snails pace
i'll probably cop some shite for saying this but,most people these days wouldnt know how to fix things to make it work in anyway possible. the more common fix is usually throw some money at it by buying a new part to fix the problem or ring a mobile mechanical service of some descrption. the old school way was always to figure out why it dont work,how it should work then make it work & thats how i was taught. if you had to buy something it was only because it was the only option that was either safer or necessary.

[VS 666]

carby motor

If you run out of fuel... and manage to get a jerry can in and it still wont start (usually takes like 10 litres of fuel but I only had a 5 litre mower can)... take the air cleaner off and cover the hole with ur hands (not completely) just give it an asthma attack so it chokes whilst turning the key... should make it suck harder and eventually start...

[undersuspicion]

not sure if this has been mentioned... but if you get a flat tyre and you are stuck squirt the tyre with a flammible liquid i.e. lighter fluid and light up with a lighter i have seen it lit with a deodorant can and a lighter to keep the hands away (providing you have one) and the tyre will literally pop back on due to hot air expanding

[undersuspicion]

if your muffler is drooping and hanging down get a coat hanger bend it into a hook and hang the muffler back up.

[Grouse-mouse]

crack in windscreen..Nooooo problem...take it out...you cant roadworthy something that aint there....LoL.

[undersuspicion]

crack in windscreen..Nooooo problem...take it out...you cant roadworthy something that aint there....LoL.

lol that is very true

[AqaumarineVR]

If your coilpacks are miss-firing under load(you will see cracks on the outside of the coilpacks),grab a tube or 2 of Araldite(or any such Epoxy-needs to be epoxy,not superglue),and liberally paint the plastic on the outside of the coilpacks(this will stop the spark from earthing out thru the cracks in the coil),i did this to my coils 18 months ago,and only replaced them 3 weeks ago,with no probs at all in that time
RE crack in windscreen:use race tape,duct tape or packing tape to stop the screen from cracking further(my windscreen is like this at the moment for the last 2 months due to a young indingenous boy throwing a beer bottle at my car,with no money to replace it just yet),as long as it's not in the line of sight
PS-if duct tape,zipties or a shifter can't fix it,it's proper F*$%ed

[wclark001]

Hi guys, interesting, informative and funny stuff first of all. Love it, now on with it. TRUE STORY. The family and I were travelling home from Orange to Tamworth. Very cold day, approx 5.30pm, cruising along the Coolah - Tambar Springs Road about 25km from Premer, making great time i might add (already copped speeding ticket on way down-woops-lol), a bloody kangaroo from nowhere jumped on the bitumen justed to the front right of the vehicle and then slid and hit just left of centre with main impact concentrated down below, dragged the bastard approx. 200m then rolled out the back. Near instantly i smelt coolant on the exhaust while i led the missus to believe it was the smell of the busted kangaroo on the exhaust. I pulled over and inspected the damage, quickly realising the radiator had split somewhere bottom left of the radiator. I didn't muck around, with little water i knew i had to go and my first objective, with one eye fixed on the temp guage, was to get to Premer, for water and to re-assess.
Being a cold day and on nightfall i had one great thing to my advantage and that was the cold air!!! But still, that only gains you a little way. We had to pull up 8kms shy of Premer, and stress had finally arrived, How Bad and How to Fix and no hope of phone service. Problem was; 25mm long split at the rear of the bottom left mount on the radiator. I am a mechanic so this was another great advantage. I had tools. I had a torch, not bloody much else. I was on the ground and freezing, frustrated, worried about missus and kids and this inspiring voice asks ' Will CHEWING GUM Help?' from the fiance. I replied 'Start Chewin'. After 5 mins of vigorous chewin i wedged the chewing gum in place and used a ZIP TIE to help hold into place, topped up with water and round 2! We made it to Premer, just. Chewing gum was still lucky to be there, thx to the zip tie. Re-aplied the chewy and new zip tie, filled up with water, and stocked car with spare water. Things were looking real grim now, it was well and truly dark and freezing. We headed off and made it a further 16km on the way to Spring Ridge, before we had to stop again. It was approx a further 26km to Spring Ridge. I was not long out of the car and i noticed headlights in the distance coming towards us heading in our direction, and still only one of two vehicles that come into Spring Ridge from our direction. I waved the 4wd over and with a tow rope he towed me into Spring Ridge. Things were a little better but still a big job ahead. I re-thought my approach now with the aid of some SILASTIC from the friendly helper. I dried around the area the best i could and then refixed the CHEWY, applied SILASTIC, assisted the silastic setting with a CIGARETTE ( by forming a long dick and holding and padding on and around the area). IT WORKED, but still a small leak remained i was not happy with. With the local pub being metres away and my late father in my head, i remembered an old beauty bushy trick to fix a small leak in a radiator, WHITE PEPPER ( must be powdered, not cracked or split ). I walked into the pub and right in front of me stood a salt and pepper shaker, YES, white powdered pepper. Went back to the car and poured the pepper straight down the throat of the radiator, topped up with more water, placed radiator cap back on to first click and then waited. After about 8 mins of idling, and by now NO water leaking at all, i decided it was time to see if we were going to make it home. With the friendly helper following in a family wagon, ready to pile us up and take us home if we failed, we were off. With the biggest leg of the journey in front of us ( approx 95km ), i was quietly confident. We stopped 20km into the final leg to assess the dodgy repair job, lol, the temp guage already told me we'd be right, and with no water dripping even and no water trail, i shook hands with the more than friendly helper and we parted ways. The good old commodore did not miss a beat all the way home and did not have to pull up again. Cocky? Hell Yeah! I replaced the radiator the next day, reshaped the condensor and pipework and hey even the the good old air con still works a pisser. Sorry for the length, but one i had to share and one that will get you out of trouble.
For the fan belt saga, i have only two rules; 1. Carry a spare belt 2. Draw a map of how the belt goes around the various pulleys, camshaft, crank, water pump, etc. and keep it with the sparebelt in the boot. Guaranteed not to have fan belt issue if you live by the 2 rules. THX GUYS. Have other tips and tricks, but thats another time, lol.