Absolute classics!!!!! Totally agree wit the one about the Toyota Landcruised in the end as well...
Here's something I did up for our motorcycle club magazine when I was the secretary of the club...it's taking the **** out of the wording I saw in some adverts in "Just Cars" and so-on.
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CAR ADVERTISEMENTS AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
Actual common phrases used in car ad’s in “trader” type magazines.
• “Restorers Delight” : It is, because only a committed restorer would love spending the next ten years struggling to find enough parts to return this rusting pile of crap into something even vaguely roadworthy…
• “Hard to find in this condition” : True again…because most people actually care for their cars and wouldn’t let them deteriorate to the condition this heap is in…
• “95% complete” : …and finding that elusive five percent of parts required to complete the restoration and which you can bet will be absolutely vital to getting it registered and back on the road will become your lifes work as you try in vain to find someone who still stocks them…
• “All parts there, nothing to find” : True, it’s not the parts that are your big worry…it’s just that all the parts are hanging off a gone-beyond-all-repair rusted-to-buggery body…
• “Very rare / not many of these around / only three in the country” : Think twice about it…if it’s really so rare, what are your chances of ever finding panels or parts for it, let alone arranging insurance…
• “Collectors item” : Automatically add 25% to the price…
• “Enthusiasts car” : You’re going to have to be, to put up with the evil-handling, temperamental-running, impossible-to-find-parts-for model that was so unpopular when it was new that few people bought them…why do you think there are “so few around” today?
• “Almost finished restoration, plus parts car” : And you can bet your eye teeth that the parts you need to “finish” the restoration are the very ones missing from the “parts car”…
• “Won’t last long” : …are these the most inappropriate words ever added to any car advertisement?
• “Original rare model (usually something like a Bathurst Monaro or Falcon GT)” : Really? Then why do you then go on to list a myriad of modifications from standard which totally ruin any collectors value it might have had before you laid your greasy little spanners on it? 
Honest Car Adverts
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