Murphy's automotive laws

[Reaper]

MURPHY'S AUTOMOTIVE LAWS (restorers edition)

1. If it can fall there will generally be an eye underneath to catch it.

2. The amount of stuff leftover after a re-install is directly proportional to the amount of trouble you are in.

3. The spanner you have just spent 10 minutes getting into position to undo a bolt is the wrong size.

4. Stainless steel washers that you bought cheap cannot be picked up by a magnetic probe.

5. No matter how many extensions and knuckles you have its not enough.

6. If the dropped nut or washer cannot be found on the floor of the garage add 1/2 hr to the job.

7. 80% of all dropped items do not fall through, the 20% of items that fall through roll away to a hidden location.

8. When that spring or circlip lets go, start looking for it on the furtherest away side of the garage first and work your way back its faster to find it.

9. Insignificant noise will become attention grabbing after any unrelated mechanical work is completed.

10. M21 gear selectors are equivalent to a rubics cube for auto mechanics.

11. That 2 person 2 minute job will take multiple attempts and 1/2 hr on your own.

12. That 2 minute 2 person job will take 45 minutes to explain if the assistant is female.

13. The capacity of that Supa Crap oil tray is 1 litre less than the capacity of the sump you are draining.

14. Engine oil sump capacity is infinite without a sump plug.

15. Hi-tension lead leakage can generally be found using exposed skin.

16. Skin cells do not regenerate if exposed to temperatures above 96 degrees C.

17. If there are sharp bits in there where you will put your hand, you will find it.
18. Beer is an essential item in any garage first aid cabinet.
* relieves hyper tension
* can be used to flush eyes
* can be used to flush blood to expose abrasions.
* can be used for pain management
* can be used for anger management
pre- medication is often adviseable. A bit like immunisation against the inevidable.

19. Profanity is tension relieving.

20. When you finally get that bit out, throwing it to the ****house is also tension relieving. (recommend not throwing it too far)

21. Going to retrieve the bit you still need of the bit you threw to the ****house is therapeutic.

22. Finding the bit you need damaged on the bit you threw to the ****house re-establishes tension.

23. The ability to quickly focus (male menbers only) on and commense auto mechanical necessities often outweighs the need to change out of good clothes.

24. the transition from formal or smart casual attire to garage apparel is often accompanied by female angst.

[delcowizzid]

haha i like good job reaper allways good for a chuckle

[vrcalais5ltr]

hahahahaha that is all so dam true love it cussing is essential when working on the car hahahaha

[monochrome]

yeah i can relate to some of those things lol

[danja]

I don't see why this is a joke? It's all true!

[VS Goon]

23 Sounds alot like me!