married life

[vrcalais5ltr]

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie h?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKIN’ BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER… GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”

…and they lived happily ever after.

[ryno_vrx]

Christ! where do i find a woman like that , my missus skips all that nice stuff and goes straight for the swearing at me

[t1mmyc]

Haha,
I dont get either

[Tim Smtih]

Welcome to married life, nice joke!

[binney]

Haha not too bad

[sus_calais]

lol so true....haha

[MyBabyVR]

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie h?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKIN’ BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER… GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”

…and they lived happily ever after.

lmao to right to !!!!!!!! i swear one of these days !!!! lol love it!

[coolvxss]

Haha i love being young and single

[redcedar]

Sounds just like my missus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BOY1236]

Christ! where do i find a woman like that , my missus skips all that nice stuff and goes straight for the swearing at me

Sounds just like my missus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u 2 should get a woman 101 course or something xD

[Holdfast]

Reminds me of the time when Dad was going down the pub.

Mum ironed his shirt but the collar was a bit scew wiff; he complained so mum beat him up with the old "copper stick".

Just as she was laying into him, his mate came through the door.

His mate, never to keep a secret, bagged the shit out of him down the pub.

Good old mum, she was only four foot six but what a ball of energy

[brendentaylor]

A: Great. Donna and I have been married five years now and I've got my magazine cover of EBONY to remind me of our wedding and how much fun it was. When a wedding starts off as good as ours did on a beach in Jamaica, we had to follow it with an exciting marriage. In fact, we're thinking of getting married all over again, just so we can have another party like we did five years ago. Donna is busy promoting Sweating in the Spirit. When she isn't busy doing that, she's by my side making me sweat. We are both very busy. So when we are together, we try to make it as special as possible. Every day we're in the same town together, it is a honeymoon.

[MikesCalais]

Sounds just like my missus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL woah... im glad im not the only one

[thedeadwalk]

LOOK guys this is no joke. it should get a sticky as a public service anouncement

[boobotam]

Thats GOOD!!!

[VS_Pete_1]

Sounds just like my missus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol man good one