What Not To Say To A Cop

[needwork2-4fillhabbit]

A cop pulls up to a car parked in Lovers Lane. He taps on the window and asks the driver to get out of the car. The cop says to the driver - I know the girl in your car and she is underage. The bloke denies any knowledge of such info. The cop says - well I tell you what, if you let me go next I will forget about it. The bloke thinks for a while and finally the cop says - well whats the delay. The bloke answers - I dont know if I can do that, I never f***ed a cop before.

Thats funny as!!

[VT9C1-6]

well the other day wehn producing my car for its weekly inspection at the cop shop my gf decides to go and ask the senior traffic copper is a mini spool illegal bcoz we just had one put it!!!!


and guess what the not, just what ya do with a spool is

[Philthy]

well the other day wehn producing my car for its weekly inspection at the cop shop my gf decides to go and ask the senior traffic copper is a mini spool illegal bcoz we just had one put it!!!!


and guess what the not, just what ya do with a spool is

Why do you have weekly inspections? I've never heard of that before

[VT9C1-6]

kinda got a letter in the mail to produce my vechile for a roadworthy inspection at my local cop shop

1st time i went there i took everythn not legal off n put the best bak tyres i could find on

got the all good found rubber granules uner the guards and said cum bak next week with better tyres

2nd time, new tyres on the bak so thining im all good,

he gets halfway down the stairs and sees the car, goes ill be bak, cums bak with the measuring stik wheel thingys and goes bring it bak next week with 100mm clearance or i give u defect

this has happened to a few mates of mine and yeh they make ya take it to the cop shop once a week for 3 months for tyre, height anf rubber spray inspection

im luki bcoz im mechanically stok and th exhaust is legal

so yeh i wonder whats next lol

heres a edited for reasons copy of the letter

[Philthy]

Oh ok, so its not actually a weekly inspection, you just dont have a roadworthy car so you have to keep going back within 7 days every time

[STEALTHY™]

As usual, the police don't know anything. A spool is illegal in every way on a road car. No ifs or buts.

[BOY1236]

As usual, the police don't know anything. A spool is illegal in every way on a road car. No ifs or buts.

but in 99% of the time, no one will know I guess...

[STEALTHY™]

but in 99% of the time, no one will know I guess...

That doesn't mean anything. He was told by a member of the police force that something is a legal modification, when its not.

They 'should' be legal, but they def are not! Just more misinformation which ruins the good rep that the members on here who serve, have.

[brewerboy]

Many many years ago i was leaving work and the lights turned orange. What do you do?

I floored it and took the intersection sideways through the orange light.

Well there must have been a cop on a motorbike at the lights. It took him 15k's in traffic to catch me and when he did he was all red faced and sweating.

He pulled me up and said......... you ran the red back there, as he was writing out the ticket. I argued and said........ your kidding me..... it was orange!

He looked at me like i just said i humped his mumma and said...... have you got something to remove that tow bar?

I said no and he wrote me an obscured numberplate ticket.

He then asked what i did for work.......... i stared at him silently.
He asked how long id had the car............ he got the same response.

He says........ cat got your tongue boy. I said na...... just wondering if you can book me for talking.

He went red in the face again........ did a lap ot the car......... it was a stock 3.0 VL, and got on his bike and left.

Ive not held an ounce of respect for highway patrol cops ever since. I know nice cops..... I have mates that are cops, but the highway lot............mmm no comment.,

[Philthy]

Many many years ago i was leaving work and the lights turned orange. What do you do?

I floored it and took the intersection sideways through the orange light.

Well there must have been a cop on a motorbike at the lights. It took him 15k's in traffic to catch me and when he did he was all red faced and sweating.

He pulled me up and said......... you ran the red back there, as he was writing out the ticket. I argued and said........ your kidding me..... it was orange!

He looked at me like i just said i humped his mumma and said...... have you got something to remove that tow bar?

I said no and he wrote me an obscured numberplate ticket.

He then asked what i did for work.......... i stared at him silently.
He asked how long id had the car............ he got the same response.

He says........ cat got your tongue boy. I said na...... just wondering if you can book me for talking.

He went red in the face again........ did a lap ot the car......... it was a stock 3.0 VL, and got on his bike and left.

Ive not held an ounce of respect for highway patrol cops ever since. I know nice cops..... I have mates that are cops, but the highway lot............mmm no comment.,

How dare he write you a ticket, its not like you just admitted to performing illegal actions and being a ****wit to a cop or anything.
*Note sarcasm

[Tsunamix]

Running an Orange light is illegal. Got a ticket to prove it.

You may not enter an intersetion when the light is orange, if you can safely stop before the intersection.

I thought it was bull**it too and checked the laws.

[HCVP]

[QUOTE
You may not enter an intersetion when the light is orange, if you can safely stop before the intersection.
[/QUOTE]

You may not enter an intersesction sideways either lol

Spools legal, Stealthy WTF ? lol Could you imagine it, every 17 year old with a Commodore, Falcon ect.. Would be driving around with Spools 2 hours after passing their license tests !!!

"Hey officer, what's that your driving, 3.6 Alloytec? I can see your vagina from over here !!"

[Calaber]

when you get pulled over by a breatho and they say blow into this never say sorry i cant you dont exite me enough.
does not go well belive me (but fun to do)

Reminds me of my dear old neighbour Ron, who used to continue having a relationship with his former wife years after they separated.

He was on his way home from Sydney one Sunday after a dirty weekend with her. He was pulled over by an RBT unit on the F3. The cop requested him, in police speak, to breath into the alcolyser. Ron, being of advanced age and having never been pulled over for an RBT before, said "Huh?

The cop, realising he had an old fellah on his hands, said "Just blow into the bag please sir."


Ron replied, "Gees, I've already done that once today....."

[VN_chris]

A cop pulls me over at an RBT on my way home from school, he looks in the car and sees my mate and my self wearing blazers with a college crest and ties. He askes if ive had anyting to drink and i reply "yer mate i had a bottle in 3rd period english"

[randomhero365]

If you get pulled over for speeding do not say this..

Cop: Do you have a good reason for speeding?
Me: yes..
Cop: What is it?
Me: Well I had a ******** sitting up my ass with flashing lights didnt I..

that = $500 fine :P

Or

I got pulled over another time..
Cop: Do you have a good reason for speeding?
Me: If I do will you let me off?
Cop: No..
Me: Then just gimme my ****ing ticket.

$200 fine

lol

[MikesCalais]

what you shouldnt say:

Officer: Have you got a good reason for speeding?
You: Sure, I was going to krispie kreame, wanna come?

What you SHOULD say:

police officer pulls you over for speeding

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK???
Driver: Yes, sir.

*Officer immediately calls the captain. *
*captain approaches you*
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owners' card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. (open the glove box showing that there is no gun).
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Open boot; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!!

haha love it... you'd be lucky to make it all the way through without getting dragged out of the car at gunpoint though

[S2_VR_]

hahah you guy's that have actually said some of it to cops.....good work for not getting your cars. searched and defected..etc

[Jbird]

what you shouldnt say:

Officer: Have you got a good reason for speeding?
You: Sure, I was going to krispie kreame, wanna come?

What you SHOULD say:

police officer pulls you over for speeding

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK???
Driver: Yes, sir.

*Officer immediately calls the captain. *
*captain approaches you*
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owners' card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. (open the glove box showing that there is no gun).
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Open boot; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!!

haha love it... you'd be lucky to make it all the way through without getting dragged out of the car at gunpoint though

u obviously watch the comedy channel short film festival.
I think this one was called chequered flag, trying to clam the writers joke lol.

[mwb235]

Police Officer: "Sir do you know why I have pulled you over?"
Driver: "No, sir."
Police Officer: "You just went through that intersection and the light was red!"
Driver: "Why, was it embarassed?"

[Kal123]

"Last time I blew in a bag she got pregnant!"

Now he's saying this with my 8month pregnant sister in law in the passenger seat lol.

[D-Man]

something not to say to a cop...

cop: how much have you had to drink mate?
me: uhh i have no ****ing clue..
cop: so it's quite alot hey?
me: yeah probably.. hey quick question... why are you in plain clothes?
cop: haha wow. i'm sure you'll have a good night.
cop: okay, i will see you around then, bye.

no ticket but i don't reccomend pushing it haha

i wasn't driving, i was pissed as a maggot, walked across the road and danced in the middle of it waving at the car... it was an undercover cop car.

[theperthvan]

That conversation doesn't really make sense.

[LUMPY 8]

i made a copper hit the brakes at a zebra crossing (by law they have2 stop) just so i can put a can in the bin lol

[cpbait]

lol, i can't stop laughing, i got breatho'd 3 times in 5 mins in one of the big blitzes on springvale road and princess hwy, i said to the third cop i'v just been through the other 2 in 5 mins and just turned out of that one around the corner into this one, he said i guess you haven't had a drink in between then and had a laugh then said blow into the tester, all good

had another cop on westall extension in melbourne doing a breath test and drug tests, breathod me and was all good then ask's:

officer: have you had any drugs tonight?
me: no i haven't
officer: if i gave you a drug test would you pass?
me: yes (with puzzled look)
officer: ok have a good night then.

i couldn't believe it i was thinking this is great

[cpbait]

also had one on edithvale road, went through it to get to a mates house, all good, went to a party, he left something at his house, we went back through it and this time they had no cars and looked bored so one breath tested me and 4 others looked over the car, i didn't relise one was still checking my tyre tread, almost ran his hand and arm over, he just got it out of the guard, then they told me to get 4 new tyres.

and 3 weeks later we got followed up my mates drive way (**** this is bringing back memories) long drive way too, runs to 3 quarters the length of his block, the convo was:

officer: why were you guys driving slow back there?
me: i turned out of the wrong street and turned in the next to come back up here
officer: were do you guys live? i.d's?
my mate: i live here
officer: yeh right mate, were's your i.d?
my mate hands it over,
officer checks i.d and address,
officer: we'll seems to be your place, i didn't like how you turned slow back there was a bit suss, have a good night and don't let me catch you again.

we were like wtf????

was good times