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Reply With Quote13). Do you have a daughter? If he responds 'yes' don't stare at his badge and say "I thought the last name sounded familiar"
I think that's one from "How To Piss Off A Police Officer"
Cheers
Jake
PUP
NEVER SAY TO A COP:
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
Tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes.
Banned
13). Do you have a daughter? If he responds 'yes' don't stare at his badge and say "I thought the last name sounded familiar"
I think that's one from "How To Piss Off A Police Officer"
Cheers
Jake
Moderator Puppeh
four guys get pulled over and the conversation with the cop goes something like this:
Cop: 'sir do you know why i have pulled you over?'
man 1: 'uhh no officer i dont'
cop: 'well i have been following you for the last 5 Km and noticed how good of a job you have been driving and you will be present an award and a cash prize of $500. what are you going to do with the money?'
man 1: 'aww, i think ill pay for some driving lessons, maybe i could finally get my license...'
man 2: 'dont listen to him officer, he is drunk!'
man 3: 'if you dont shut up he will find out this is a stolen car!'
man 4: 'ohh shit i hope he doesnt find the drugs in the boot!'
yeah, lame i know... but its all i could think of hehe
My 2007 WM Statesman
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lurker since 2003
Yetisports 3 - Seal Bounce Champion!
when you get pulled over by a breatho and they say blow into this never say sorry i cant you dont exite me enough.
does not go well belive me (but fun to do)
three thing in life are guaranteed
taxes
death
and car repairs
lurker since 2003
Yetisports 3 - Seal Bounce Champion!
or the other thing to do is just say yes and wind your window up
three thing in life are guaranteed
taxes
death
and car repairs
lol I got pulled up 4 a breatho once, n wen i opened the window i asked the cop 4 a large big mac meal...he wasnt 2 impressed
You Cant Kill Whats Stronger Then Death...
according to a mate of mine saying "****ed your daughter" and then yanking on his beard ends up with you being taken to an empty oval?
only human......
WOW! nice 5 YEAR OLD thread mine.....
WTB VR/VS FACTORY HEADUNIT BRACKETS PM MEOriginally Posted by MY-42-VT
ridin dirty
yay i got the thread goin again
You Cant Kill Whats Stronger Then Death...
Alex673
Best one I did was at a booze bus. The cop asked if I had had anything to drink and i said "yeah, a bottle, a couple of cans and a carton". When he breathalised me and it came up negative, he asked EXACTLY what I had been drinking. He then called me a smart ar$e and told me to F**k off when I replied "a bottle of water, a couple of cans of red bull and a carton of choc milk!"
Growing Old Disgracefully
get pulled up for an RBT......
"I haven't had a c**t all night Drinkstable!"
Reviled did i live as evil i did deliveR
- UNDERSTEER is when you hit the wall with the front of the car.
- OVERSTEER is when you hit the wall with the rear.
- HORSEPOWER is how fast you hit the wall.
- TORQUE is how far you take the wall with you.
lol! thats epic, im so gonna try that
You Cant Kill Whats Stronger Then Death...
Stack The Cats Champion!
I can't say that when i'm SOBER! I'd need to be drunk to pull that one off!
get pulled up for an RBT......
"I haven't had a c**t all night Drinkstable!"
What seems to be the officer problem?
Jizz in my pants
good afterbull constanoon
Gas, Ass or Grass nobody rides for free
You tell him (coz you are right)
Growing Old Disgracefully
let's not forget the old standard reply......
"I'm not as think as you drunk i am!"
Reviled did i live as evil i did deliveR
- UNDERSTEER is when you hit the wall with the front of the car.
- OVERSTEER is when you hit the wall with the rear.
- HORSEPOWER is how fast you hit the wall.
- TORQUE is how far you take the wall with you.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
this isnt a joke but once this ******** cop got my dad and he was a fatty, and dad was going off because he hadnt done anything anyway dad ended up saying to this cop something along the lines "look mate your full of bullshit i wasnt even using my phone, your pathetic i mean look you have bigger tits than pamela anderson" meh dosnt sound funny but i was absolutly pissing myself, the cop wasnt impressed but didnt do anything about it, besides the mobile phone fine or whatever, i think he acctually got embarrased and it made him feel guilty (for being fat) i dunno but was ****ing funny
2.5" Catback
^^^^ generally when it looks like ur using the phone, ur using the phone.. its pretty obvious when someone is..
well he had picked it up from some clip off his sunvisor and sat it with his wallet when they saw him
as we were turning the corner and nearly at my aunties house he just got it down
Last edited by Silver_VS_II; 30-05-2009 at 06:49 AM. Reason: added more
When the cops are doing traffic directing, yell out your mates window " do some work you lazy pig"
then wait for them to get him.
PS don't do this in your own car.
Barstard mate done it to me.
hey hun ya wanna root in mi car.
are those 32 c
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
A cop pulls up to a car parked in Lovers Lane. He taps on the window and asks the driver to get out of the car. The cop says to the driver - I know the girl in your car and she is underage. The bloke denies any knowledge of such info. The cop says - well I tell you what, if you let me go next I will forget about it. The bloke thinks for a while and finally the cop says - well whats the delay. The bloke answers - I dont know if I can do that, I never f***ed a cop before.
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