The MANS Rules.

[D-Man]

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the Rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.


Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

[HoldrodeoLT]

The toilet seat rule.. wtf is with that:
gf's sister has a drink up at her house.. tells people to leave if the seats left up... whats the big deal!!!

[`redoctober]

Because they don't want to pull their own weight.

We have to put it up every time we use it, why can't they do their fair share and put it down when they do?

Easy.

[HoldrodeoLT]

It's actually phisically easier to put it down anyway.. me being 6 foot 3 i almost burn my face on re-entry to bend over to put it up..

[BXHD]

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

[old mate]

i've never understood the seat down thing, it doesnt take that much energy for them to put it down, geez.

us men should get together and find something to get them back with.

[HoldrodeoLT]

us men should get together and find something to get them back with.

Leaving shit in my car!!! hair ties.. purses.. lip gloss..

[BXHD]

well guys, i honestly dnt mind it that much, but its kinda bad when ur half asleep in the morning and fall/sit down and i didnt realise it was up and u half fall in. pretty gross. and painful hahahahaha.

[BXHD]

Leaving shit in my car!!! hair ties.. purses.. lip gloss..

i leave bobby pins EVERYWHERE.. muuahahaha.

[HoldrodeoLT]

i leave bobby pins EVERYWHERE.. muuahahaha.

[old mate]

why must you leave those pins everywhere, i stand on them and it hurts my feet! is it like some kind of treasure hunt to go and find them all again? haha.

[BXHD]

why must you leave those pins everywhere, i stand on them and it hurts my feet! is it like some kind of treasure hunt to go and find them all again? haha.

pretty much
ahahahahaha.

[HoldrodeoLT]

I buy her a pack of 100.. and in no joke 1 week later shes needs more... where did the other 100 go!!

On topic, best set of rules yet.. im laminating that and sticking it to my front door.

[BXHD]

I buy her a pack of 100.. and in no joke 1 week later shes needs more... where did the other 100 go!!
.

LOL im the same. they run away. and when u buy a new packet, u find them EVERYWHERE!!!

[old mate]

maybe a big container with flashing lights saying 'bobby pins go here' would be a good invention, save money spent on the pins and save people getting sore feet!

problem solved.

[Deutscher]

maybe a big container with flashing lights saying 'bobby pins go here' would be a good invention, save money spent on the pins and save people getting sore feet!

problem solved.

they dont cost that much ... think you get like a million (100) for coupe bucks or something?

[D-Man]

On topic, best set of rules yet.. im laminating that and sticking it to my front door.

yeah i sent it to my mum and she pissed herself laughing (and she laughs loud... im surprised you guys didnt hear some random laughing today... aaannnyyywwaaayyy) two chicks at her work got REALLY offended by it, i pissed myself some more when i heard it -

about time some people in this world lighten the **** up and take a chill pill every now and then! seriously how the hell does someone find this offensive? fkn idiots.