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Thread: A day from the diary of a BMW driver...

  1. #1
    PORT3R's Avatar
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    Default A day from the diary of a BMW driver...

    A day from the diary of a BMW driver...

    "The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

    First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

    The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

    Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

    Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

    Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

    Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

    He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

    Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

    Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

    See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "
    Quote Originally Posted by stocky View Post
    anyone got any special tricks for removing a screw that doesnt want to turn?
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    I recommend explosives.

  2. #2
    vk.jonno's Avatar
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    lolol jonno
    Quote Originally Posted by BIGbrown1 View Post
    Hey dea, financed my VS 3yrz ago, desper8 4a car, meter read 214,016kms... I PAID $14,000.00, 3yrz l8r im dealin with alot of problemz... n e cheap BUT good mechanix in west melbourne? n e info appreci8d... Fanx...
    Quote Originally Posted by Menace38L View Post
    yea if i end up getting it il lay low from the cops lol jus want it for skids etc lol

  3. #3
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    Haha I actually "laughed out loud" at this one, mind you that laugh was a giggle. Great joke!
    signature was inappropriate and has been removed.

  4. #4
    azzfox's Avatar
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    "my motorway"
    My (ex)Ride

    Quote Originally Posted by ari666 View Post
    LMAO!!! bracelets!!! and neck chains?!?!? they are as gay as aids.
    Quote Originally Posted by Not_An_Abba_Fan View Post
    Nice 4 year old thread dig dude....got a permit to mine that deep?

  5. #5
    vk.jonno's Avatar
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    yeah same it was goooood
    Quote Originally Posted by BIGbrown1 View Post
    Hey dea, financed my VS 3yrz ago, desper8 4a car, meter read 214,016kms... I PAID $14,000.00, 3yrz l8r im dealin with alot of problemz... n e cheap BUT good mechanix in west melbourne? n e info appreci8d... Fanx...
    Quote Originally Posted by Menace38L View Post
    yea if i end up getting it il lay low from the cops lol jus want it for skids etc lol

  6. #6
    ari666's Avatar
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    wait till you have driven on the M40 oxford to london... then it isnt that funny. horrible memories

    god damn BMW drivers...

  7. #7
    I drive a VL Commodore's Avatar
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    I'm gonna put BMW wheels on my VL so I can get all this neat shit too.
    It's as if society expects me to act like a cockmongler when I'm driving the Commodore. People always look at me weird when I go the speed limit, or indicate for more than 2.5 clicks or accelerate moderately off the lights... wtf

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    haha thats good.

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