"Blokes Rules.."...

[rattattack1313]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules:


Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that
1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1 Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.Crying is blackmail.
1 �Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!JUST SAY IT!
1 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
I 1f you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it doneNot bothIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
1 ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
1 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:Sex,Sport, orCars
1 You have enough clothes
1 You have too many shoes
1 I am in shape. Round is a shape
If all fails, read number 1 again......
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

[veequ]

geezus ratty i loved it
even the missus had a laugh so many of these are true

[rattattack1313]

yea.. I sleep on the couch regularly.......

[veequ]

in 13 yrs togeather 9 of em married i have never been made to sleep on the couch
as the missus says why should she have to go with out any just cos im a bastard

[rattattack1313]

lool...... yea...... i snore heaps tho.....bugs hell outa her , 'specially when she has to work the next day........... ............

[Mark]

that is classic.. gimmi a few minutes.. i got a page somewhere thats got 100 rules of being a man.. this shit will crack u all up!

[Mark]

found it... just been reading it.. its hilarious deserves its own new thread.. trust me its worth the read