Showers.............
showers
How to Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along
the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
Complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower.
Look for facecloth, arm cloth,loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice
stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural
crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash.
Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's
all
come off.
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it
waxed
instead.
Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns
red
hot.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers (if
you
can find them).
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to
spend
hour and a half getting dressed.
------------------
How to Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting Way
Hey!!
Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique.
Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch bollocks and smell fingers for one
last
whiff.
Get in shower.
Don't bother to look for wash cloth ? don't need one.
Wash face.
Wash armpits.
Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.
Wash bollocks and the surrounding area.
Wash arse, leaving hair on soap.
Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo.
Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
Piss in shower.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because
shower
curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
Partially dry off.
Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of knob again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
Leave bathroom light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust
pelvis
at
her.
Put on yesterday's clothes.
The Dark Prince
Mad As A Meataxe
HAHAHAHAHAHA
That rocks!
The very existance of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to do it.
Ahhhhh !!!! my ribs hurt
sixshooter
ye ive seen that before and its all so so tru!!
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