Ladies-why you shouldnt take a bloke shopping-Real letter from US Kmart to customer

[VTLS1]

Dear Mrs. Murry,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us
unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of
offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO Re: Mr. Wayne Murry - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has
done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"

And; last, but not least!


15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

[acarmody]

HAHA, Gold. Gonna have to try a few of those.

[NVMYVT]

lmao thats classic
even the missus got a kick out of it :P

[kcpwns]

hahaha i may have done a few of those things
the key is to not give them your name lol

[D3CID3R]

haha theres some potential ideas in there.. :P