When ladies dont put out-ladies,please have a sense of humour-this is funny

[VTLS1]

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.


(Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!)

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go
to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows
I'm smarter than her.



I dare anyone to try this next time your out with your missus,lol

[chevy_big_block_bro]

That is pure gold mate
(wonders why i'm sitting here instead of snuggled up im bed with my missus)
We're going shopping tomorrow lol

Actually we're going to pick up her new Mazda 3 tomorrow
"No honey, I just want you to sit in it for a while"

[VTLS1]

That is pure gold mate
(wonders why i'm sitting here instead of snuggled up im bed with my missus)
We're going shopping tomorrow lol

Actually we're going to pick up her new Mazda 3 tomorrow
"No honey, I just want you to sit in it for a while"

i'll keep an ear out dude,i might hear the swearing from up here if you do say that,lol

[STEEV888]

haha i did not see that coming.. good ending.

[2ndLook]

Thats a classic....thanks for the laugh!!

[wana s' charge stock vt]

hahahaaaaaa , so clever ..

[Big Dazza91]

Yes yes very very cleaver people. but i am sure it wont work out so good in real life

[redrags]

this joke has already been put on this website..but still funny

[chevy_big_block_bro]

i'll keep an ear out dude,i might hear the swearing from up here if you do say that,lol

Chickened out lol
I couldn't do anything like that.

[Demonica]

LOL love it!!! Not all us women are like that though- give me sex over cuddling any day and no he doesn't need to take me shopping hahaha I hate shopping

[B1OHZRD]

that was just raw awesomeness!!!!

[kngsv6]

mate.. you are a legend!

[BADNWS]

Very nice man! and o soo very true!