100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Guy

[wildss]

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football
6. You don’t have to monitor your friends’sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.


11. When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you.
16. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why 'Stripes' is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.


21. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humour in 'Terms of Endearment'.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.


31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don’t have to shave below the neck.
36. You don’t have to curl up to a hairy ass every night.
37. If you are 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original colour.


41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.


51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell the truth.
58. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking 'he must be mad at me'.
60. The world is your urinal.


61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one is just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work, more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.


71. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100.
73. You don’t care if someone is talking behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot you could double the earth’s population in 75 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
76. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you are talking to them.
79. ESPN’s sports centre.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.


81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn’t pretend you’re 'freshening up' to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your friends you’ve changed.
86. Someday you will be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase 'f**k it'.
88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di’s death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.


91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you are not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
96. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person doesn’t preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with 'So … notice anything different?'
99. Baywatch.
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

[Mr_Slim]

"You know stuff about tanks"

I don't know shit about tanks, but damn that cracked me up lol

[Holden_Chickie]

You don't go out with useful things?

[Stretchomatic]

what?!!! go get urself a tank book now, or at least something with tanks in it, u need it...i've got mine and well it's practically useless...lol.

[253PWR]

i cant believe u dont have a book about tanks!
if u did u'd know all about chieftans, panzers etc

[Holden_Chickie]

<<<<owns a tank a big beasty metallica blue VL commodore

[Patrio7]

top stuff ^_^ i liked #92, small dog punting the most

[dsnutz]

mighty good stuff

[IDAR3U]

gr8 stuff lol

[Trevor 062]

What The...ONLY 100 Reason's

[dsnutz]

#92 would have to be the best

[Julie]

Add this to the top of the list, u don't have to go through childbirth, pregnancy or menstruation! lucky bastards

[VSTrev]

I think this one somes it up completly...

87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase 'f**k it'.

[killuminati]

42 You can be President, hehehe.... Some funny ones in there

[gemini]

I think this one somes it up completly...

87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase 'f**k it'.

I was going to say that

[Novastorm]

Haha, #87 and #92 are classic

[NORTI]

I love 92.... hehehehehe I find it funny alos... damn rat-dogs... grrrr



D.

[maxy0987]

17. You understand why 'Stripes' is funny

LOL man i love that movie

92 is good too :P

[kel_VK_Calais]

ahahah, thats great. I can relate to most of them... this coming from a chick haha, what a great read.

[_Mukas_]

87, 92....and what Julie said!

[Widget]

In regard to :

68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

Not sure if that is strictly true, what about blokes in kilts?
Remember Princess Mary's old man flashing away at Denmark's Queen Margrethe II at the wedding - not a pretty sight.

[commod8]

hahaha, that list is sick. the one about eating a banana in a hardware store just sounds funny, and coz it sounded so random i just laughed.....very good list that is

[V3N0M]

ROFLMFAO! love it!

[TheForgotten]

Add this to the top of the list, u don't have to go through childbirth, pregnancy or menstruation! lucky bastards

maybe not, but we still have to hear about it and sympathise even though we have no idea what it's like

[V3N0M]

maybe not, but we still have to hear about it and sympathise even though we have no idea what it's like

LOL thats tru.. and put up with the mood swings that come with it all hehe ^_^ ( well i used to have to lol )