Quotes...............

[rattattack1313]

Question: If you could live forever, would you and
why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should
not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we
would live
forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

``````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the
world, I
can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like
that, but not
with
all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of
your
life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for
federal anti-smoking campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my
body,"--Winston
Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates
in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
`````````````````````````````

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are
the
president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the
release of subpoenaed
documents.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass,
and
I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional
candidate in Texas.
````````````````````````````

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies
manager,
Danny Ozark
``````````````````````````````````

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment
It's the impurities
in
our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice
President (DUH !)
```````````````````
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
``````````

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we
need?"--Lee
Iacocca
```````````
"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football
quarterback &sports
analyst.
````````````````````````````````````````````
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
`````````````````````````````````
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton,
President
``````````````````
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
````````````````
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
``````````````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
because we
received
notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You
may reapply if
there is
a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South
Carolina
````````````````````````````````````````````
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as
they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout
the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
record." --Mark S.
Fowler, FCC Chairman



(Also, that Al Gore fella , years ago outlawed Frank Zappas music from being played commercially on American radios etc........Al said it was "Audible Pornography)............

[dsnutz]

they are so funny were do you people find the time to find these things

[rattattack1313]

Some I get from my uncles joke boook from WW2..some are from an English lady I know..she gets bored at work, so she looks up stuff.....some I got from when I was on the road with assorted comedians.....rodney rude....kevin blooody wilson..col elliot...... etc.......

[s0sage]

*picks up some of rats dropped names*


here ya go buddy ....

great stuff i love it lol!

[kurtbarker]

s0sage, omg, don't you ever sleep?

awesome quotes there rat

[rattattack1313]

*picks up some of rats dropped names*


here ya go buddy ....

great stuff i love it lol!

Wait till you are up here s0sage..I will show you my autograph book.....

[Patrio7]

"I have always wondered what people think, and then it hit me. they don't" - anon

[rattattack1313]

"To BE , Or Not To Be...What Was The Question???"...Sylvester styllone, playing Romeo........

[kurtbarker]

out of 'The Extra'

After being told he had to run in the shop, hold the gun up and say "FREEZE"

run's in the shop, holds up the gun... "um, I forgot my line" <<< classic