These'll crack you up...

[simmo 76]

A Lebanese man wins Lotto, and wanting to spend his money wisely, he decides to buy the house next door to Kerry Packer's.

He knocks it down and builds an exact copy of the Packer residence.

Annoyed, Kerry Packer sarcastically says to the Lebanese man "Nice house you got there" and the Lebanese man replies "It's just like yours but worth a lot more."
Puzzled, Kerry Packer asks "How do you work that one out?"

The Lebanese man replies "when we go to sell, I can tell the prospective buyers that they will be living next door to the Packer's, whereas you gotta tell them they'll be living next to Lebs!!"


and...


an old greek couple were at home doing the gardening..evan and maria

evan looks over to maria and says"maria i think your bum is bigger than the bbq"

maria says"whatever evan just plant the bloody tomatos"and turns away

evan though is so curious to test his teory that he walks over to the bbq measures it with his hands then walks over to maria and compares this measurement to her bumb. then he exclaims "see i told you maria your bum is bigger than the bbq i measured it!" mary ignors her stupid husband and continues weeding

anyway......later on in the night they both jump into bed

evan turns over and knopcks maria on the shoulder and says "hey maria come on the viagra's kicked in"

maria looks at evan and with a annoyed voice re4plies...."what? you want me to fire up a whole bbq for one small souvlaki?"



and....



A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" Letter from his girlfriend back home.
It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky...

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope, along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f*** you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.



And last but not least...


Fords.

haha

[kurtbarker]

haha, love the last one...

*tries to contain self* fords "hahahahahahahaha"

[Patrio7]

the first one was a new joke to me very funny ^_^ livin next to lebs, poor neibours got, pardon my bad 1337 speek, "Pwned".