Pretty funny joke translated

[RADEK8]

This joke is originally from China, it's pretty funny.

A beautiful young reporter named Jess was strapped for stories with a 12pm deadline the next day. Desperate, she was driving around looking for something to cover when she saw the entrance to an old dilapidated farm. She drove her car in, got out and knocked on the door of the old farm hut. An old man answered, he said his name was Farmer Joe and he had lived on the farm all his life. Jess told him of her predicament and asked him if he had any stories to share about the farm. Farmer Joe thought for a while and said "Well one time, Horace the cow got lost! He musta sneaked out at night or somthen, but I went and saw everyone in the area and told them about it. Anyway, the whole neighbourhood was lookin for him, and we found him grazing the grass in the old field! Thing is ya see, we were all so excited when we found him, that we all dropped our pants then and there, and raped him!"

Jess was taken back by this comment, but she cleared her throat and muttered "ummm, thats not really the kind of thing I was after... Do you have any other stories?" Farmer Joe thought for a while, and said "One time, Bill the pig got lost! He musta sneaked out from the barn one night or somethen, so I went and saw everyone in the area and told them about it. Anyway, the whole neighbourhood was lookin for him, and we found him layin about in the puddles near the old creek! Thing is ya see, "we were all so excited when we found him, that we all dropped our pants then and there, and raped him!"

Jess cleared her throat again... "ok ok, you seem to be awfully happy about all of this.... do you have any stories where something tragic has happened instead? Something not exciting?" Farmer Joe thought for a while and started sobbing. "Whats the matter?" Jess asked. "Well" meekly muttered farmer joe "One time when I got lost..."

[RADEK8]

Another one...

A husband and his wife are watching the lottery draw, husband with a ticket clenched in his hand. He hears it. The husband jumps up and screams out "I WON! I WON!! THATS 2 MILLION DOLLARS!!! PACK THE BAGS!!!" The wife jumps up estatically "Where should I pack for??!?" she asks "Fiji? Hawaii?" The husband turns to her and says "I don't care just GET THE **** OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!"

[Jesk]

ive heard that first one as a kiwi, and a sheep, neighbours daughter

[Patrio7]

go the lotto joke


A bloke figures his wife must be hard of hearing so when she was sitting reading a magazine he stood behind her at a distance and said "whats for dinner hun?" no answer so he takes a step forward. whats for dinner hun? still nothing

this continues untill he is almost leaning over her and again the question comes out, whats for dinner hun? to which the man hears his reply, "for the tenth ****ing time, steak and veggies!"