Next labor stimulus payment

[Dayvo]

.

Labor Stimulus package by Gillard and Swan.

Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:


If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and
Guatemala.

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in Australia by:

1) Spending it at garage sales.

2) Going to the footy.

3) Spending it on prostitutes or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia )

Conclusion:

Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day!

[monkeys437]

Solid advice. I did enjoy the fact that we got back a tiny smidgen of taxes that we already paid for economic stimulus. And now that the surplus is gone and the government is broke, they have been trying to sell the public all sorts of new taxes to try to get back in surplus.

[undersuspicion]

so is this a joke are we getting another stimulus payment?

[itsArthurKomar]

fark if this is true i am either spending the money on lowering, exhaust, or tatts or a DSLR if i dont have it at the time haha or ofcourse an upgrade of the shitty stock sound sys on my omega

[HoZy]

This.. Put tears in my eyes

"Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day!"

[ClairBear]

so is this a joke are we getting another stimulus payment?

This joke was around just after the stimulus was paid and obviously some bored person has found it and rehashed it.

[undersuspicion]

This joke was around just after the stimulus was paid and obviously some bored person has found it and rehashed it.

ah roger boss. Thanks for clearing that up.

[Calaber]

This joke was around just after the stimulus was paid and obviously some bored person has found it and rehashed it.

The punch line's still a goodie, though.

[itsArthurKomar]

AWwwwww i feel the same amount of let down as a virgin that is about to have sex and then at the last second he doesnt get any

[m62vpute]

AWwwwww i feel the same amount of let down as a virgin that is about to have sex and then at the last second he doesnt get any

And that my friend is the same as MARRIED LIFE