Some good questions..

[VS Omega]

A few are a bit American.. blah

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Is there another word for thesaurus?

Is the color orange called that because it's the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that's its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?

What do they pack Styrofoam in?

Why did God give men nipples?

Is grass really greener on the other side?

Do boxer shorts box?

Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why is it called a "near miss" when you don't hit something?

When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?

Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?

If you spin an Oriental person around and around, does he become disorientated?

If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?

If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?

Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?

Why is there an 's' in lisp?

If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?

If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number?

I like these

[rattattack1313]

Holy Hell, mate....go clean your hard drive or something...tidy your house or something..you must be INCREDIBLY bored to write all that up.....( and I get this feeling of Deja-Vu..(or how-ever you spell it) from the conversation the other night with Garth etc....was that just a practice session for this??).....

[STEALTHY™]

why can you chop a tree down, then chop it up?



i love these things, so many questions, yet so many answers!

[Patrio7]

i see what your saying.

[STEALTHY™]

they had this on the radio during the week, getting callers to ring in and say some. i stole the tree one. but some lady rang up with the one in the first post, 'why do you turn the music down to find a street sign'

[I LIKE COMMODORES]

Love it. That's gold.

[Patrio7]

heres a good one, over 1million yellow cabs in NY, where the fruck do they a) park and b) get fuel

[VSTrev]

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

I have to give this one a go

And i think i know the answer...
Some sort of Universal Paradigm would occur where a tear in the space time continuum would be created and life as we know it would cease to exist.

[Patrio7]

which is why it has never been successfully attempted.

also did you know that a cat would have more chance ding from a 3 story fall than a 7 story fall?

it takes a cat 3floors to calm down and spin the right way up so at 3 floors you get a nasty back breaker. at seven floors you get a few broken legs and depending on the surface [i.e. brick / concrete] you'd have internal bleeding. yummy!

i wonder who took the time to test that out without getting their ass raped by the rspca

[shaggerz]

My theory is that if you dropped a cat with buttered toast strapped to it's back that these 2 of Murphy's laws would work together to defeat Newton's law of gravity, or, if you are uncomfortable with the laws of physics being broken, you could consider that the "buttered cat" would become suspended in mid-air, rotating slowly. The buttered cat would repel the earth in the same way like charges repel each other.

Now I imagine that for this to work, the size or ferocity of the cat would have to be perfectly balanced with the amount of butter on the toast.

To raise the height of suspension, increase the size of the cat while increasing the amount of butter on the toast at the same rate. To lower the height of suspension, do the opposite.

I believe that this system could be implemented in todays society...

For example:

1. Public transport. If we were to create a giant 'buttered cat array' attached to the base of a carriage, we could create an efficient, quiet and comfortable means of transportation.

2. Elevators. If a buttered cat array were used to support an elevator, we could create a system where butter is pumped to and from the surface of the toast, and cat food is pumped to the cat, and kitty litter pumped away. Using this system, we could dynamically adjust the array to provide different suspension heights, thus raising and lowering the elevator.

Of course maintenance costs would be quite high for any system utilising the buttered cat technology as any unbalance between the size of the cat and the amount of butter on the toast would cause the system to collapse and levitation would cease. This would neccesitate constant monitoring and regulation systems to ensure the butter to feline ratio remains unchanged.

Of course this is all just a theory any other "buttered cat" theories are welcomed and so are suggestions for how we can put this technology to use!

EDIT: Added the word 'ratio' (ommitted by mistake)

[rattattack1313]

Levitation, hey..... someone get onto that bloke off the TV...Chiss Angel.....looooooooooooooool.................get him on ( or off???) the job...........

[Patrio7]

saw something like this on the mr hell show a mate has been uploading to my ftp, someone butted both sides of a bit of toast and dropped it and sure enough it just hovered about 3inches off the ground and spun slowly

[simmo 76]

My brother gave me the idea for this one :

We were watching a foreign movie on SBS,
my bro was standing outside by the loungeroom door having a smoke,
he asks if we can turn the volume up coz he can't hear what their saying ??? lol.
What would it matter if we turned it up, it wouldn't make it sound more "englishy"??

[PhatVN]

ahahaha i havent laughed so hard in ages lol
good work mate
keep em comin.. although u appear to have everything covered