Random Jokes

[bazcom]

I’m in trouble with the wife. We were in bed naked and she asked what I would like to do most with her body.

Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer.

---------------------------------------------------------------
DR. PHIL - HELP

Dear Phil
I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn’t start. I walked back to my house and found my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter. They announced that the affair had been going on for two years.
Can you help me…I’m desperate.

Dear Reader
The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the carburettor. Hope this helps.
Phil.

---------------------------------------

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.

--------------------------------------------------

I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!.

I panicked. I didn’t know what to do………..................……Then I remembered Maccas serves breakfast until 11.30.

-------------------------------------------

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, a Canadian, an Argentinian, a Korean and a Swiss man walked into a pub. The bouncer says “Sorry.. I can’t let you in without a Thai”.

----------------------------------

Man on top, screwing a 300 lb woman.
He says “Can we have the light switched off?”
She said “Why? Do you find me repulsive?”
He said “ No….it’s burning my ass”.

[HERONVY]

LOL XD
Love em, keep em coming !
Alby

Sent from my X10i using Tapatalk