Report Card....
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope roped
up
prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad" With the
worst
premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling
hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with
all
her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not
only
the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very
happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, She
already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. She wants to have many more children !
with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that
marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it
with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Joan
can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad,I'm 15 years old
now
and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is
safe for me to come home
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