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Zen Teachings

Dayvo

Because i can
Joined
Apr 28, 2005
Messages
2,669
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Age
67
Location
South East,Victoria
Members Ride
VE SV6 Series 2
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3.No one is listening until you fart.

4.Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6.If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7.Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10.If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11.If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12.Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

13..Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14.Good judgment comes from bad experience ... And most of that comes from bad judgment.

15.A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16.There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17.Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19.We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... Then things just keep getting worse.

20.Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
 

c2105026

Active Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2009
Messages
900
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Points
43
Location
NSW
Members Ride
2000 VTII Commodore Olympic, 2012 Ford Focus ST
"when you find a mosquito has landed on your balls, you will realise not all situations require violence"
 

ChocolateCharlie

Active Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2010
Messages
120
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Location
ACT
Members Ride
VXII Executive
Brilliant. I feel so Zen after reading. 7,9, 15, 16 are crackers
 
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