Fun things to do at K-Mart

[spauldj308]

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all on and turn the volumes to "10".

Play with the automatic doors.

Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

Put M&M's on laybuy.

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

Take bets on the battle described above.

While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible

Fill your trolley with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming "

[B£å¢kÐðg]

Play with the automatic doors.

While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

Done those 3

will have try some more

[bangers]

classic. will definately try some to liven the shopping experience.

[Tekka]

id hate to be an emplyee of K-mart an come across a smart ass doing that shit

[MikeVXSS]

those are great ill be trying a few of them. lish hates taking me shoping cause i always do stupid shit like that

[INSINR8R]

the first time i read this in an email, i did the thing with the condoms. Everyone laughed sarcastically and then i said "hey, I'm practising alot of safe sex... at least i wont have any accidents" while pointing to their kids...

[STEALTHY™]

Following on from the trolley of condoms, scratch the barcodes off them, and put them in other peoples trolleys, then wait around for the 'anouncement' over the PA system 'Price check on condoms'.....

[VT-565]

Following on from the trolley of condoms, scratch the barcodes off them, and put them in other peoples trolleys, then wait around for the 'anouncement' over the PA system 'Price check on condoms'.....

very, very cool. wish i had of thought of that one! my housemate and i do the "random-fill-the-trolley-up-with-crap-that-nobody-would-buy-in-their-right-mind" thing and promptly leave it right in fron tof the deli window or some other inconvenient place like that. very immature, but hell funny.

[sixshooter]

You've been watching to much Mr Been....LOOOOOOL

[Wombat]

...or peel the little metallic "alarm trigger" chip sticker off a DVD case and put it sticky-side up on the floor, waiting for someone to walk on it and leave the store....


Waaaaaay back in 1981 I worked in Big W here in Bundaberg, and at that time the sporting department sold guns (honestly!). I had a query about a rifle from a guy, and while I was showing him, one of the department managers who, shall we say, appeared to have some kangaroos loose in the top paddock, wanted to check out a nice Bentley pump-action 8-shot 12 gauge 20 inch barrel shotgun. (God I miss firearms like that...damn Port Arthur gun ban laws!!! :b: ). Anyway, while my back was turned, the manager walked off with the shotgun, out into the back loading dock area. I eventually caught up with him and got it back, and you imagine the looks I got walking through the middle of a crowded Big W with a pump action 12 gauge... . Nowadays the SWAT team would be down on my arse quick as lightning...

[sixshooter]

I can remember that...Guns just alongside the fishing rods...

[missmcudd]

i have this funny joke book that has these same things u can do.
My favourite one is hiding in the clothes rack and saying "pick me pick me!" when people walk past lol

[94vrexec]

hey i work at target so i get endless supplies of those security stickers. if i get bored i just chuck the security stikers sticky side up on the floor and it is dam funny to woch the security gaurds search people wen they beep thru the exit.

[90VN55]

" When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. "

make sure there handbag or wallet or sumthin aint in it. its a bad feelen when u loose stuff.

[NORTI]

we used to peel off the labels from libary books when we were at school & stick them to people lol So I kinda over that when I was workin for Big W.... one thing we did do was superglue a 5c to the floor & watch how many people tried pickin it up LMFAO @ that!!! hehehehehehe


D.

[GMH 72]

While sharing rent with some mates years ago we would go food shopping & liven it up a bit by having a casual frozen chicken race by bowling frozen chickens down the isles & seeing who's gets to the end first. We got kicked out of the local one a couple a times when we got caught. Farken funny though.

[KingDiamond]

at the Kmart down in Bay Village someone punched all the display Kettles/Toasters.

the best thing to do is tear open bags of those foam beans.

[Jules86]

Try doin all in 1 day, Y'll be a legend to the smartarses if you can pull all that off without getting kicked out. I get kinda embarrased when that sort of shit happens, my mates will go into the toy section and set off all the try me toys...like elmo n shit.

[Boonz]

getting the skates or blades out and playin laser tag is kool... lol

[STEALTHY™]

we used to peel off the labels from libary books when we were at school & stick them to people lol So I kinda over that when I was workin for Big W.... one thing we did do was superglue a 5c to the floor & watch how many people tried pickin it up LMFAO @ that!!! hehehehehehe


D.

*gets glue*

I'll be back, going to test your theory

[Konker]

not at my house thats just cruel. thats a week wages

[bonafide]

hahha 5c one is a classic

[digitok]

Who the hell would go to pick up a 5c coin?

Back where I used to live these few guys used to sit in the front part of this bar where there was a big window along the front and clue a $1 coin to the pavement and watch everyone trying to pick it up..

hehe