20 bucks is 20 bucks!

[Lish]

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic
garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags,
and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills
falling out of that bag...
"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can
still find some. Thanks for the warning!"
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that
money?"
Did you steal it?"
"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to
the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of
fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"
"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each
time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20
or off it comes!"
"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way,
what's in the other bag?"
"Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up."

[MarzVP]

That is priceless

[90VN55]

last time i take a pi$$ in the bushes

[Wombat]

Oh christ I'm going to have nightmares now..... :my:

Similar but funny too is something an ex-navy friend told me he did in Sydney. They were rebuilding the bathroom of his brothers house, and when they had to go, they would use the public toilets across the road in a small park. My friend had been warned he could be "propositioned" as it was a well-known hangout for that sort of thing..."not that there's anything wrong with that", as Sienfeld would say...
Anyway, after a day or two it happened...he was sitting there quietly in the crapper and heard a knock on the wall, and when he turned, he was face to face (so to speak...) with someone's knob hanging through a hole in the cubicle wall! A husky voice said "wanna play with me?" :my:
My friend still had pocketsful of stuff from the house renovations, including a tube of superglue gel. He grabbed the guys wang, heard a satisfied "oooh" from the other side of the wall, then layered a thick line of superglue along it and pressed it up hard against the wall, holding it there until it stuck.

Names and exact places shall remain untold to protect the innocent (alright, the guilty...), but I am assured the helpless screaming was something to behold...

[NORTI]

well maybe... but then again mayb he got off on it??

Go the Glory holes lol

who has seen "The Sweetest Thing" ? lmao.... puppy... :P


D.

[Junkie]

ahaha nice joke