How do these people survive?

[Blown V6 Hatch]

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE?


ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to
me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.


THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."


FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her
car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have
a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I
asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk."


FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out
of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
copies.


SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor
home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.


SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they
have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from
the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"


EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.


NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the
mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in
to emergency!


"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

[bangers]

please don't tell me they're true. funny though.

[DAMSLY]

u would be suprised i saw a lady up at orana mall in dubbo put her credit card in the slot were the receipts come out she wondered why nothing came out lol

[Famine]

Haha nice, the mcdonalds nuggets thing has happened to me too. Except I asked for a dozen, and they said the same thing about 6, 9, 12 :P

My friend once asked for a bakers dozen of kfc nuggets just to be a pain, the girl serving looked very confused and went to ask the manager what to do :P

[2_SeeK_U]

Similar thing happend to me at the local hardware store.

I wanted half inch thick mdf, so in l went and a young girl about 17 comes up to me and asked what l wanted, I said half inch thick mdf to which she replied that they don't stock mdf in half inch, but they do have 8mm, 10mm, 13mm and up... :S Shouldn't these people know metric conversion?

[Wombat]

The one about the cops with the "lie detector" is in fact true.

The case was trhown out of court because the shylock the crook hired to defend him said it was that famous American get-out-of-jail-free term, "entrapment", even though he was actually guilty.

I don't call it "entrapment", I call it "creative"...