Check out this Anti-Ricer description from and actual EBAY item!!

[VS Omega]

I found this on an old data-cd back-up from 2003, listing is probably long gone now but good for a laugh and indeed quite disturbing

You are bidding on a 600 Watt AMP + 2, twelve inch MTX subwoofers in an enclosed box. This system is pretty sweet, its got loud distinct bass, nothing to obscene, if you have an SUV or a truck this is perfect, it comes prewired already, just enough to feel your music, but not to irritate anyone else, or you can if you tweak it, or if your a loser who drives a Civic with a type R sticker, racing stripes, blasting really bad rap music through your suburban area with your pretentious "I’m 21 but I’m still in high school girlfriend" while driving with your hand up on the top of the steering wheel exposing your underdeveloped pasty white vitamin deficient arm and wearing your backwards BS upside down visor hat while feeling the tacky as a "Florida vacation" single diamond earring in your ear, If you are this person...with any luck the sun in its precise celestial positioning as you putter on by...will reflect its scorching rays into your earring, bouncing intensely in your rearview, and finally making contact with your eyes through the thin cheap lense of $5 gas station Oakley rip off glasses.. then burning your retnal cones into smoldering melting gobs of ocular material as you are blinded by the purest form of energy in our known universe, and as you scream no one can help or hear you because they don’t know what’s going on since the weed whacker sound of your shitty tiny little muffler which makes the Civic sound like a 747 rages on underneath making everyone turn at disgust and comment to thier husbands or wives how much of a dickweed you are by attaching that automotive abnormality to your stock economical daily driver engineered by Japanese Automotive specialists to fit the needs for entry level business workers in their early 30's, however your pathetic looking $11,000 car which you want to look like a friggin spaceship with redundant ground effects is now out of control since you are blinded, and as your car plunges off the side of a cliff while you scream in the purest form of terror while knowing you have lived a horrid excuse for a life, by doing the bare minimum in every facet of existence, while getting fired from one pathetic job to another, the majority of your time spent slacking smoking dope, getting kicked out of school, polishing your "game" on sweet innocent underage girls you eventually 'de flower' through exhaustive yet succesful attempts to get the date rapist drugs you have stashed in the glove compartment, into your poor victims drinks while offering them to take the "Pepsi Challenge" while making your mother hate you, and your poor father who wishes he had a daughter instead of your pathetic ass, since a girl would be more of a man than you ever were, like the occasion when you were hit in the arm by a wild pitch in little league, then you cried like a fat kid who dropped his ice cream cone, I'm already envisioning you impacting the rocks below, in a spectacular fireball ignited from the residue hairspray from your girlfriend plastered in the fabric passenger seat, blinded by your earring, deafened by the loud "Bling Blingin", and I will smile and roll around on the ground in orgasmic delight while you are consumed by flames whose intense heat and fury will liquefy your bone marrow that I will use to make jelly beans out of and eat them happily at your funeral as midgets dressed like Alex 6005321 from "A Clockwork Orange" dance around your coffin to loud industrial style techno music and strobe lights, and I will sleep soundly at night knowing another successful conquest of Darwinism has been attained. So...you can either use the system I'm selling like the fore- mentioned guy did, or you can buy it from this Cadet and use it properly and enjoy the compliments people will give you as you pass and let them listen to your outstanding taste in fine diverse music.

[Lish]

OMG - that guy could do with a little "therapy".....sad

[slick_red_VN]

lmao what a friggin nut job, great creativity thought but yeh THERAPY is certainly on the cards lol

[Blown V6 Hatch]

Wo, What a freak!!! I think he is well and truely past the stage of needing therapy!

[DeiCide]

whoa!, thats not right!

[prizedbnx]

i think he is just passionate

[Lish]

i think he is just passionate

passionate!!!! gggeeezzzzus I'd hate to be his girlfriend

[davey g-force]

HA !!!

Loved it! Passionate indeed...

...So I wonder if he sold the amp & subs ??

[minux]

HA !!!

Loved it! Passionate indeed...

...So I wonder if he sold the amp & subs ??

I'd say he sold them to a rice racer

[PaRaDoX]

ricers be warned.... someone looks homocidal against weed eater sounding car drivers

[TheForgotten]

hahahaha.... I like it. goddamn weedwackers. they're everywhere and my bog stock 3.8 with problems has never seen the taillights of these pathetic little tin cans. nah he doesn't need therapy, but if you ever hear of a guy on top of a clock tower with a sniper rifel, you can almost be sure it's this guy. or me.....

[B£å¢kÐðg]

he might be a nut job but i liked it

[Morgasshk]

fark me... issues...

but also can totally sympathise... :P flipping ricers irrit the bejesus outta me...

[Stretchomatic]

that was cool and disturbing at the same time...the fact he doesnt like ricers is good, the fact that he will roll around in orgasmic delight is a little wierd, i mean not even I get off over cars crashing into rocks while the driver is liquified by all the molten plastic dripping off his crudbox car...oops...see we all have a bit of crazy in us...

[ClairBear]

The guy is sensational - pure poetry.

I want to have his children.

C.

[TheForgotten]

The guy is sensational - pure poetry.

I want to have his children.

C.

.....

[DavidPartay]

It reminded me of the idiot whose car I got stuck behind at a Maccas drive-through... It was a manual, and the way he was starting the car moving made me wonder how often he has to replace his clutch?! Apart from that, it only took a few seconds before myself and everyone else around me was fed up with hearing his 4 cylinder piece of crap through the dual cannon mufflers out the back. Do people not realise that cannons make a perfectly good car sound like a lawnmower?!

[TheForgotten]

nope. I've actually had a convo with a lancer w/cannon owner (nice chick, shit car)
anyways, i asked why she had a headache exhaust on her car, and she said "coz it sounds good and I like it" I just started at her blankly

[Tekka]

My eyes need therapy ater reading that, paragraphs would be nice, but shit he is some guy in need of some friends i think lol, crazy mofo

[siriansun]

Ok I am STILL pmsl...


I work down the street from Croydon Auto Sports and hear those annoying things everyday. I can understand his beef...maybe not to the extent of seeing them go off a cliff but hey each to there own.

Lucy

[Sphinx]

damn, that guys got issues... maybe he was beaten up by a ricer when he was a child..

[VTSSDUDE]

Probably true what he is saying.

[Stupa]

me thinks someone likes ricerockets

[VZCalZone]

that would take so long to write. I'd just find myself repeating myself but that was gold. Vivid descriptions and clear analatical theatrics. (he he that word had anal in it) It was probably someone from this forum, watch ya backs!!

[bns-sticky]

Is it just me or do all ricers drive the same. You all know what i mean...????