Pick up Lines, Post em here!

[stockvp]

i wish my wife was this dirty

[hoppersvr]

ill be 6 and u can always be 9 i promise

[Jesterarts]

Haha...some of those are gold..
I don't have any pick up lines as such that i can think of, but i got 2 lines i've used that worked...lol And one interesting situation

(1)
Went to a mates 21st n then out clubin so i was all dressed up and OH so drunk.
Neways, waiting in line to get a drink n a bird behind me taps me on the shoulder n goes "What are you all dressed up for", I turn around, look her up n down n with a smug drunken grin come out with "You.."
Half n hour later she was screaming my nickname..... "OH GOD!" lol

(2)
Another time at a party i was feelin pretty tired and not my witty self, neways i find myself sittin next to a bird in an awkward silence...
For like half an hour we do that look at each other, awkward smile n look away thing....until i come out with "Damn, wheres a fat penguin when u need one!"
She's like "A what?"
Im like "You know, a fat penguin, sumfin to break the ice..."

She took it hook, line and sinker! After that i jst bitched abit about my shitty week and got a sumpathy blowie off her..

(3)
Finally, my proudest moment was at a mates 18th...
I passed out on a wooden bench outside near the fire we had goin, woke up n some chic had managed to get my head onto her lap so i woke to boobs above my head...lol
All i said was "Huh...mmm..boobs.."
She looked down, goes "Like em" i nodded...n we started makin out...

Neways, sorta irrelevant but funny never the less...
Laters

[Jesterarts]

Waiting in line for drinks at a club.
Chich next to me who is like a foot n abit shorter than me is jst standin and staring at me...
Eventually i look at her n she goes "Your tall..."
I go "Yeah, but you should see me lying down"

Go chattin to a bird up in the city in sumfin called the "Long lounge" or sumfin...i forget.
Neways jst chattin about this n that n what not....n eventually i get the sumbject onto thinks we find attractive in the opposite sex...
Inevitably she goes "So what do u look for in a girl??"
At which point i described her to the last detail...
Then, with a cheeky grin i go "So what do u look for??" the rest is history..

but i recon the funniest line i've EVER heard and seen work was by my mate

Myself and him spot 2 chix on a couch, so we walk over n casually sit down either side of them so it was Mate, chic chic, me...
Mind u this was a 2 seater couch so it was abit tight but we acted like it was nuffin sus....after about 2 min of jst sitting there not sayin a word..
The chic next to my mate goes "Excuse me, what do u think your doin??" n he goes "Oh, jumping the grenade.."
I was so impressed that he came out with it...n he succeeded in pickin the bird up!

[VS_chick]

* get ice and drop in front of them* now that we have broken the ice you wanna f#$@?

[rooty]

is that a mirror in your pocket cos i can see myself in your pants...lol

[VS_chick]

aslo i have had a guy come up to me look at my clothing tag and says "just as i thought made in heaven" all i could do was laugh!

[Famine]

My d*ck just died, can I bury it in your ass?

[fabz]

My d*ck just died, can I bury it in your ass?

LMAO

[SlyVR]

the best one eva "Hi i'am <insert name here>, whats your name?"

[VH SLE]

Ever tripped over a tree?.... how about a root?

[bangers]

hi, my face is leaving in 5 mins and i'd like you to be on it.

ever stood on a nail? how about a screw?

[TheForgotten]

"Oh, jumping the grenade.."

jumpin the grenade??? wtf?

[pro_gmh]

Can i buy you a drink??

[HQ_Statesman]

Hi I'm <name>!!! Wanna f**k??

Works about 4 outta 10 times

Cheeks get a bit sore though

[giannetto]

One i have seen a mate use as a joke but actually worked was said at a club.

"Can i cum in your hair" (Dont forget there is loud music)
she slike "sorry?" (Not knoing if she heard right)
"Care to dance?"

i cracked up so hard

[pro_gmh]

So how did it work if she didnt know what he said?

[giannetto]

she heard him but then when she went to confirm it he said something that rhymed, the whole point of it was for a laugh but he actually got the chick

[pro_gmh]

yep i know what ya mean lol

[spazvh]

lol at how many lines there are. if ur genuine u dont need em!!

[TheForgotten]

"can I come in your hair" and "care to dance" don't rhyme. at all. oh bugger it

[darkstar]

do the flys hang round you.(she says no why) cuz you the shit

[misslisa]

HERES ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!!

(guy hittin on you in the bar)
(he says ) "wanna drink?'
(you say) "Forget about the drink, do you want to go to your place?"
(he says) "Hell yeah!"
(you say) "off you go then, bye!!!"

[NORTI]

HERES ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!!

(guy hittin on you in the bar)
(he says ) "wanna drink?'
(you say) "Forget about the drink, do you want to go to your place?"
(he says) "Hell yeah!"
(you say) "off you go then, bye!!!"

lmao!, I like it!



D.

[VS_chick]

HERES ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!!

(guy hittin on you in the bar)
(he says ) "wanna drink?'
(you say) "Forget about the drink, do you want to go to your place?"
(he says) "Hell yeah!"
(you say) "off you go then, bye!!!"

hahahaha....... love it!