| Jokes/Humour Think something is funny? Put it in here for everyone to laugh at. |
14-02-2006, 01:33 PM
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Shake That
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Ride: VX SS Commodore
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 340
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How to shower like a woman
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy
and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE! ! ! ! !
__________________
If I wanted to hear from an arsehole...I'd FART
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14-02-2006, 01:51 PM
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Chrgd,Coold,Twinthrot'in
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Ride: GT42R forced JZA80 Supra and VT Wagon
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 474
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I didn't laugh 
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14-02-2006, 01:53 PM
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INSINR8ED as well.....
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Ride: VXII Clubsport R8
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: P-E-R-T-H, WA
Posts: 423
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lol that pretty much sums it up, although I'm not married
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14-02-2006, 02:07 PM
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Shake That
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Ride: VX SS Commodore
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 340
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by deathsminion
I didn't laugh |
sorry sense of humour or just not married/in a relationship ??? LOL
__________________
If I wanted to hear from an arsehole...I'd FART
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14-02-2006, 02:13 PM
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Chrgd,Coold,Twinthrot'in
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Ride: GT42R forced JZA80 Supra and VT Wagon
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 474
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I think it's because it doesn't apply to me.
*Hides Nivea for Men products*
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14-02-2006, 02:43 PM
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Ride: VN Calais 5.0, UC Torana L67, WB Ute EFI 5.0
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Cowes, Phillip Island
Posts: 1,147
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Fart and laugh about how loud it is in the shower! That is gold and so true!!!!
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14-02-2006, 02:57 PM
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Chrgd,Coold,Twinthrot'in
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Ride: GT42R forced JZA80 Supra and VT Wagon
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 474
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Not for me. Goddamn blokey blokes. METRO all da way.
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14-02-2006, 04:51 PM
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Ride: VC sle '81
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 87
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by deathsminion
Not for me. Goddamn blokey blokes. METRO all da way.
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Your either a bloke, a woman, or a fag mate, METRO = FAG. 
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14-02-2006, 04:56 PM
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Shake That
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Ride: VX SS Commodore
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 340
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gimme a blokey bloke anyday  lol
__________________
If I wanted to hear from an arsehole...I'd FART
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14-02-2006, 09:09 PM
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Ride: 1990 Toyota Starlet GT, turbo.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Hobart
Posts: 222
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METRO = FAG.
hehehe
that was quite funny specially the "woo woo" bit :P
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Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
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14-02-2006, 11:36 PM
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Cheeky Monkey
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Ride: VR Commodore 93, Mags.
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Australia Victoria Geelong
Posts: 261
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What's even more funny is when others hear your loud FART from outside the bathroom and you hear them laugh there heads off.
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15-02-2006, 09:31 AM
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midnight shadow
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Ride: 93 Vr (pp spec)
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Welly NZ
Posts: 111
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ITS ALL SO TRUE love every one of the man and yes i practice religiously. thank you for making my day!!!!!!!! feedback posted!
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go not where the road may lead, instead go where there is no road and leave a track
AND please click on scales to help people who help you.
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15-02-2006, 10:32 AM
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Shake That
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Ride: VX SS Commodore
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 340
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Konker
ITS ALL SO TRUE love every one of the man and yes i practice religiously. thank you for making my day!!!!!!!! feedback posted!
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HEHE Mike is a kiwi too and that's why I loved it so much cos he too practices it all religiously!!!! I laughed my silly lil head off  
__________________
If I wanted to hear from an arsehole...I'd FART
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15-02-2006, 01:47 PM
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Projecting
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Ride: VL PROJECT
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: QLD
Posts: 3,396
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Oh yeah, Nearly every step covered haha.
Metro's shower like the women anyway
I just hate having a shower when you've got visitors and you really want to unleash blowing your nose and hacking up phlegm and stuff. But instead you have to be discrete, can't drop your guts because even if your trying to be quiet, the addition of the shower will enhance it to the point of when you get out everyone will be proud.
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