How to shower like a woman

[Lish]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.

Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy
and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.




If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE! ! ! ! !

[deathsminion]

I didn't laugh

[INSINR8R]

lol that pretty much sums it up, although I'm not married

[Lish]

I didn't laugh

sorry sense of humour or just not married/in a relationship ??? LOL

[deathsminion]

I think it's because it doesn't apply to me.

*Hides Nivea for Men products*

[Blown V6 Hatch]

Fart and laugh about how loud it is in the shower! That is gold and so true!!!!

[deathsminion]

Not for me. Goddamn blokey blokes. METRO all da way.

[Power21]

Not for me. Goddamn blokey blokes. METRO all da way.

Your either a bloke, a woman, or a fag mate, METRO = FAG.

[Lish]

gimme a blokey bloke anyday lol

[BANGERS88]

METRO = FAG.


hehehe


that was quite funny specially the "woo woo" bit :P

[AussieHolden]

What's even more funny is when others hear your loud FART from outside the bathroom and you hear them laugh there heads off.

[Konker]

ITS ALL SO TRUE love every one of the man and yes i practice religiously. thank you for making my day!!!!!!!! feedback posted!

[Lish]

ITS ALL SO TRUE love every one of the man and yes i practice religiously. thank you for making my day!!!!!!!! feedback posted!

HEHE Mike is a kiwi too and that's why I loved it so much cos he too practices it all religiously!!!! I laughed my silly lil head off

[Bax]

Oh yeah, Nearly every step covered haha.

Metro's shower like the women anyway

I just hate having a shower when you've got visitors and you really want to unleash blowing your nose and hacking up phlegm and stuff. But instead you have to be discrete, can't drop your guts because even if your trying to be quiet, the addition of the shower will enhance it to the point of when you get out everyone will be proud.

[VRFURY]

hahaha del yourve done it again, i think its funny. soo soo true, they always wanna shake there willy at ya....

[Jesterarts]

Hahahahah!! so so true!!
Mainly the fart bit....gets me everytime!!

[VN-88]

all so true for the males, i must admit i do neally al those things i try too wee. before i get in the shower, cause i know how much u gotta piss wen ur in the shower and gotta get out half way and wet everything just to piss, then u get introuble for wetting everything

[Jesterarts]

Get out to Wee??
I jst let her rip in the drain hole, then dance around the yellow patches in the shower till they wash away....
LOL

[VN-88]

lol thats classic stuff, i think i use to do that wen i was 10, but when ur dating some chick and having a shower to gether and hanging for a piss till ur about to die. it may look alittle wierd for her as ur taking a piss and she is there dodgeing the yellow patch's lol

[Famine]

this whole topic is HILARIOUS! Replies included! Hahaha


Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.





Absolute GOLD!

[gocommygo]

is it just more or do farts stink more in the shower? if so why?

[Jamie_87]

my theory is u aint got undies on to act as a catylatic convertor/muffler and filter most of the stench lol ...plus the heat and moisture makes it worse

[Spike79]

Well we are all human, aren't we? Do you think the Queen has never dropped her guts?

my theory is u aint got undies on to act as a catylatic convertor/muffler and filter most of the stench lol ...plus the heat and moisture makes it worse

I reckon, and whats with sniffing your own farts? I don't get that!

[MoSkA]

my theory is u aint got undies on to act as a catylatic convertor/muffler and filter most of the stench lol ...plus the heat and moisture makes it worse

Catalytic converter and muffler, ROFLMFAO!
Good theory but seriously LMFAO!

[craigvk]

Well we are all human, aren't we? Do you think the Queen has never dropped her guts?