How do you know you own a cr@p car

[kowan]

You lose at the stop-light challenge to a 96-year old on a scooter.
When you fuel up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"
While waiting at a stop-light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom-vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
You keep losing dates on right turns.
Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing peak hour traffic.
Your tires are balding faster than John Howard.
The engine burns more oil than fuel.
You wouldn't mind if you were car-jacked.
You judge suitable parking spaces by the degree of downhill slope.
You have the local tow company on speed-dial.
The engine catches fire and you don't notice anything wrong until the fire truck pulls you over.
You can leave your car parked, unlocked, with the keys in the ignition, and not worry about it being stolen.
Public transportation starts to look good.
The city sends you a notice requesting that you remove the "abandoned vehicle" from your driveway.
Even homeless people look derisively at your car.
Every time you start your car, the local smog index jumps a whole point.
The local mechanic says that doing a tune-up is just "throwing good money after bad."
You double the value of your car every time you fill the tank.
The 8-track tape deck finally eats your last tape.
When you try to sell it, Local Shopping Centres won't accept your ad because they "have a reputation to protect."

[TheForgotten]

well thought out, but there could easily be more

[kowan]

Now is the time to add more !!!

[matty88]

How do you know you own a cr@p car

WHEN YOU OWN A FORD lol

[Famine]

When you pull up at the lights and a leb across the road yells out "sik car mate!!"

[TheForgotten]

hahahaha nice

[vztrt]

When the dealership says it's "within tolerance"!

[Patrio7]

lets go. some good some sad mostly done in 6minutes.

when the vacume bottle holds more pressure than the tires.

when your window winder breaks and you complain that the AC just died.

you claim the squealing brakes are because its not warm yet

the clutch slips less after applying some teflon

its got more decibels than horses.

your essential toolkit includes: a bottle of whisky a gameboy and a phone that can only receive calls

bodyroll takes on a very scary new meaning.

it acctually can run on hopes and dreams.

cops are tired of defecting it and just let you around in it [ yeah right! ]

when starting it in the morning even begging doesnt work

[pardon if this is offecensive to anyone, let me know, ] its being referred as being such a bomb that even terrorists are taking an interest at the buy price

you can double the speed simply via drafting that old hatch up front

it can stop on an airfeild, not a dime.

getting sideways is slowly becoming second nature

james bond once used it for its oil slick system

chuck norris couldnt defeat it/ [ i had to add a chuck joke im sorry ]

over 20 mechanics know you by name.

after an inspection the RAC declared that it will be classifyed as a rock and therefore is uninsureable.

the ECU runs dos.

crashes and scraps straighten the panels

stickers acctually add horsepower

and im about out so i'll leave it at that.

[pro_gmh]

Pmls Roflmao!!!!!!!!!

[kowan]

When you are at the Transfer Station (Rubbish Tip), scroungers start removing parts from your car.

[coolngroovy]

When the birds wont even crap on it!

[gibbo]

You take it to the scrap yard and the crane with the big magnet cant pick it up because theres no metal left to stick the magnet to

[Bax]

How do you know you own a cr@p car

WHEN YOU OWN A FORD lol

Or Kia Carnivals

[NORTI]

ah "ew I might get Daewoo on my hands"


D.

[TheForgotten]

I've been known to say that to a customer at work.....

I had a really good one, but incubus made me forget it

[matty88]

Or Kia Carnivals

lol I didn't choose it

[vinnywelsh]

(Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing peak hour traffic.)

LMAO, could imagine that one happening

[Tekka]

You do realise even the most shitty fords would beat your kia carnival man, be realistic here, and im sure u wouldnt even knock back a BA GTP-FPV.

[Jecs]

My Mum Owned a KIA Carnival !! and it blew all fords, holdens, FPV's, HSV's away, like how a ricer blows all the sh*t out of the gutter with the 4" exhaust tip

[commod8]

any rice bubble is a cr@p car (it's nice to say that) hehe. i simply can't stand those rice bubbles such as hyundai excel's, daewoo's etc - hopeless body kits, dark bonnets to make it look like it's carbon fibre, absolutely massive 15 inch rims...hehe, air vents on the bonnet...........and the car really does have "more decibels than horses"

[commod8]

feel sorry for people who have more dents and scrathces than horses on their cars - i hope i never end up in that situation

[redcedar]

when you visit the scrap metal yard and they crush your car by mistake !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[matty88]

When you own one of these!!!

[kowan]

matty88, thats funny !!!

[matty88]

Or you own so many tacho's and gauges that your interior looks like this...