Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

[kowan]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES- These really do work!

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! the blockage will be instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Wife always nagging and complaining, why pay for an expensive divorce, a bullet only costs 11 cents.

Sometimes we need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan .

[shrekVK]

ahhhhh lamo

[DeiCide]

heh, not bad!

[nicholasjoe]

"You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape." lol too true.

[fabz]

LMAO now thats funny ha ha ha ha

[NORTI]

nah I think one more tool is needed.... large shifter... find that if all else fails... WHACK THE SHIT OUT OF IT!!!......

I have a VK & I know this to be very true


D.

[nicholasjoe]

yeah lol... i have a 2.0litre 4cyl hilux petrol, gives me a fair bit of trouble, my tool box in it consists of a screwdriver, small shifter, carby cleaner and WD 40.

By christ it's got me out of some situations them tools

[neonasty]

Wasnt this in the Age yesterday!?

[MoSkA]

Ahhh WD-40, gonna prevent a lot of unwanted pregnancy's........

oh.. wait.. that's RU486 isn't it?

[Tekka]

Yup my gf car needs the duct tape to hold the car together and the wd-40 to keep it running lol

Lmao at the ru486 and wd-40

[MoSkA]

Hehe yeah a mate of mine came up with that, well not so much came up with it... me and another mate said something about WD40 and the other guy butted in with "yeah they should make that legal, my girlfriend could probably use it" me and my mate just crack up laughing...

[NORTI]

got to love those blonde style friends even if theyre not blonde... maybe they should be? tell them to dye their hair .... lol we did that once... told a girlfriend of mine to dye her hair blonde so that when she spoke people were already forewarned.... lmao - she did!



D.


oh wait.... Im blonde.....

[MoSkA]

Blonde is good, they have more fun.
I think those blondes with a bit of brunette at the roots really have the most fun, best of both worlds.
I prefer blondes, they're dumb enough to get in the car with me and generally (no offence) they're easy... Not because they're actually easy, but because I find it so easy to get them.
That's why I go for brunette's now (except the newest one, she's blonde), they're more of a challenge and there's nothing I love more than a challenge.