few jokes i juz got in an email!

[gocommygo]

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party.

Then he had a bright idea.

When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on... just a pair of pants.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.

"A premature ejaculation." said the man - "I just came in my pants!"


This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?".

The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. er.. no.. what happened?".

The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day.
But the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"
:my:

A man goes to church to pray for his gambling addiction to be cured. God answers his prayers, but says he must gamble one more time, and whatever he wins, he must give half to the church.

The man agrees, and heads to the nearest casino.

He sits down at a blackjack table.

He gets a 2 and 5. He has 7

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

The man takes a hit, he gets a 5, he has 12.

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

He takes another it, he gets a 4. He has 16

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

He takes another hit, a 3. He has 19

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

The man takes a hit, he gets an Ace! 20!

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

The man takes a hit, ANOTHER ACE! He has 21!

At this point Gods screaming 'UN****ING BELIEVABLE"

[TheForgotten]

hahaha nice