Rules of engagement...

[_Mukas_]

The boys will love it and the girls will wana kill us, but hey, its seems like common sense to me...

Every Man's New Official Rules.. Listen up ladies!
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down ! We
always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one..

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials, or ask us to press pause.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine..Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1.You have too many shoes.

1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.

[_Mukas_]

had 30 ppl look at this thing and yet noone has made a comment...

[minux]

Its an oldy but i still love it

[Outlaw Torn]

lol, heres a comment for ya.

F***IN A

gotta love it.

[maxy0987]

yeah its old but its good, now we can just sit back and wait for the girls to come bitching in about their rules...

[BANGERS88]

haha nice one man ill give ya this for later haha

[_Mukas_]

My missus went celebate for a week when i showed her these...
yeh well, they do they're bits n pieces and we dont whinge so you know...what goes around comes around i spose...
isnt it all common sense tho?

[Doctor Sodways]

Ha ha ha, love it, as has been said, its been around a while, but its funny none the less