Product warnings

[Pretender]

1. On a blanket from Taiwan
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.

12. On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

15. On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

17. On a Japanese food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

20. On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

21. On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nytol sleep aid
WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

[minux]

lol some of those are classic, sad to see that companies have to put these labels on

[Stupa]

the sad thing is each of these probly results from some stupid yank suing them

[matty88]

One that's on my bike:

DO NOT RIDE BIKE UNLESS PEDALS ARE ATTACHED

or sumfing along those lines

[VSSPak]

whats wrong with 5 ? insects arent animals

[TheForgotten]

technically, yes they are.

All very funny, and yeah some yank probly did sue

[B]20. On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

they are that stupid aren't they?

[crazyspoon05]

There's a 'health food' mob thant puts out it's own food lines and they have Chocolate Peanut protein 'health' bars along with a warning on the back that 'This product may contain traces of nuts'

Well duuuhhh