single?

[_Mukas_]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where
she selected:

* 2 litres of low fat milk

* a carton of eggs

* 2 litres of orange juice

* a head of lettuce

* half a dozen tomatoes

* a 500g jar of coffee

* a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she
placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the
drunk calmly stated," You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but
she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since
she was indeed single. She looked at her items on the
belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well,
you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on
earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

hail the drunk man



A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing
a suitcase.

He asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard
prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do
for you for free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into
the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.


When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm
coming too I want to see how you live on $800 a year".

[xlr8_87]

heard the first one before

but that second one's a ripper

[Boost_Babe777]

Haha nice!!!
I like both!!

[vn88calais]

both are hilarious mate

cheers, Todd