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Thread: Hitman Playing Golf

  1. #1
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    91 FORD EA Falcon (So sue me)

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    Default Hitman Playing Golf

    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

    "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

    Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

    "I'm a hit man," was the reply.

    "You're joking!" was the response.

    "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

    "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look?..."

    "I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

    "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!

    What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

    "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

    "Can you do two for me now?"

    "Sure, what do you want?"

    "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

    The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

    "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a thousand dollars here....."

  2. #2
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    '97 VS II Statesman 5.0L 5-Speed

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  3. #3
    vn88calais's Avatar
    vn88calais is offline Perth Representative
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    Default

    hahahahahahahahaha thats funny hahahaha...nice

    lol, cheers Todd
    VY works currently in PRODUCTION!!

    Engine will still be sloow!!!!! ;-)

  4. #4
    Patrio7's Avatar
    Patrio7 is offline 3Y3 K4N 5P33K 1337.
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    yep the classic returns
    attn Über geeks, i play Second life. Patrio Graysmark.

  5. #5
    POVRTY's Avatar
    POVRTY is offline building 5L VB TH 400
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  6. #6
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    EF Almost Turbo

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    seen it before but still gold..
    DaZ
    Project: Shifty1 commences Feb 2007

    The_Monk says:
    im a leech

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