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  #1  
Old 02-08-2006, 08:26 AM
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me".

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words That every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.


The next day I took the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
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  #2  
Old 02-08-2006, 09:09 AM
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haha, still love that - instant divorce.
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  #3  
Old 02-08-2006, 11:37 AM
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haha
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Old 02-08-2006, 07:39 PM
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that a killer mate
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Old 02-08-2006, 10:54 PM
 

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i rest my case your honour
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Old 02-08-2006, 11:15 PM
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oooh i think some1's taken some things a lil bit 2 far
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Old 03-08-2006, 06:25 AM
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hahahaha I know someone who would do exactly that too
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  #8  
Old 03-08-2006, 03:24 PM
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ide probly do it...but not on such a massive scale...cop that bitch!
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