| Jokes/Humour Think something is funny? Put it in here for everyone to laugh at. |
09-08-2006, 11:22 PM
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Investing in happiness
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Ride: VP Calais International 5L
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Melbourne, AU
Posts: 1,365
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Only In Australia...
(found on another forum)
Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
A Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.
Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house
Faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
Fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia...do banks leave both doors open and chain the
Pens to the counters.
Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls
And then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.
58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree While
the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.
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09-08-2006, 11:39 PM
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Go Kitty Go!
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Ride: 'Ruby' 1991 VN Exec / 1999 VT HSV XU6
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: S/E Melb
Posts: 1,672
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Trent, are you trying to say us Aussies are dumb??
Hahahaha!! That's great, it all sooo true...
__________________
Check out the "edited" pics of Ruby! What she's gonna look like when she's tinted!!
http://forums.justcommodores.com.au/...ad.php?t=41795
Quote:
:: hakhawk :: says:
im a geek by day
:: hakhawk :: says:
a mass/axe murderer by night
:: hakhawk :: says:
and a rabbit sometimes
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I'm only nice to one person per day. Today is not your day....
Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
God must love stupid people, He made so many.
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10-08-2006, 12:13 AM
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3Y3 K4N 5P33K 1337.
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Ride: Suspended till 11/9/08
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Perth, Clarkson
Posts: 1,280
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im pretty sure thats adopted from the only in america, the bank one is ringing some loud bells.
__________________
attn Über geeks, i play Second life. Patrio Graysmark.
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10-08-2006, 12:13 AM
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Banned
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Ride: 1992 VQ SII STATESMAN
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: S/E Subs, Melb
Posts: 3,157
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Thank god I'm Ukrainian 
Cheers
MaT
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10-08-2006, 12:27 AM
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Ride: VP Executive R-spec
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,896
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*thinks how lucky I have been with the battery testing*
__________________
VP executive-R 0-60mph 5.36 11/10/07, PB ET 9.101 1/8th mile at Southcoast raceway 30-11-2007
VN Lexcen GL 0-60mph 6.95. 1/4 mile 15.37 @ 91 mph: calculated rwkw 114
VH SL/E 202 Auto 0-60mph 13.5
5-12-08 Friday night street drags can 8.99/13.99 be done on a 2.5 inch exhaust? that is the question that will be answered
Download the flyer for the next street legal drags
http://www.southcoastraceway.com/ima...dec-5-2008.pdf
My VP, going fast on the cheap
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10-08-2006, 12:33 AM
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Go Kitty Go!
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Ride: 'Ruby' 1991 VN Exec / 1999 VT HSV XU6
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: S/E Melb
Posts: 1,672
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by greenfoam
*thinks how lucky I have been with the battery testing*
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You've tried that haven't you Foam?! Hehehehe!!
__________________
Check out the "edited" pics of Ruby! What she's gonna look like when she's tinted!!
http://forums.justcommodores.com.au/...ad.php?t=41795
Quote:
:: hakhawk :: says:
im a geek by day
:: hakhawk :: says:
a mass/axe murderer by night
:: hakhawk :: says:
and a rabbit sometimes
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I'm only nice to one person per day. Today is not your day....
Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
God must love stupid people, He made so many.
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10-08-2006, 05:58 PM
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Formerly VK_308
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Ride: VR SS 5-Speed, VK 5L, WB Panno
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Radelaide
Posts: 1,057
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i've done the 9v battery thing a fair few times aswell 
__________________
^^ Tell me what you think ^^
 >> R.I.P. Peter Brock. 1945 - 2006. << ... ~ Always Remembered ~ ...
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10-08-2006, 08:15 PM
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Ride: VS Berlina
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Lysterfield
Posts: 61
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Patrio7
im pretty sure thats adopted from the only in america, the bank one is ringing some loud bells.
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And the skate rink, dont know any one who calls it that.
Also the first statement couldn’t be more wrong on this forum, which is devoted to an Aussie built and designed (up until recently) car. Not to mention the most frequent meet point for the Vics is at one of the most Aussie pubs in Melbourne (Hallam).
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10-08-2006, 09:03 PM
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3Y3 K4N 5P33K 1337.
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Ride: Suspended till 11/9/08
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Perth, Clarkson
Posts: 1,280
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__________________
attn Über geeks, i play Second life. Patrio Graysmark.
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11-08-2006, 05:21 AM
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.
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Ride: 'Enhanced' Y Series Senator Sig
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Geelong
Posts: 5,646
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Some of these are just blatant rip off's of other countries.
Anyways, i don't get this one
Quote:
Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
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Whats the problem there? Disabled people cant skate?
__________________
minuxx dot net
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Buy my Prints below
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11-08-2006, 05:56 AM
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Morgage. **** Wrong Again
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Ride: 2000 VT II Berlina V6
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Army's of the West. Victoria.
Posts: 1,824
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Only in Australia can you tell anyone to **** off and walk away
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11-08-2006, 11:12 AM
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^^ is FEMALE! - Sheesh!
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Ride: VR Calais 5L
Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Adelaide
Posts: 1,934
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I remember one about injuries to feet at christmas time from stepping on kids toys.....
D.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by VPS2
ok i want my v6 to chirp into 2nd soooo bad
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by stocky
want it to chirp? fill your car full of birds. will chirp all the time
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12-08-2006, 07:00 PM
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Ride: VB and VP
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 38
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by SlickHolden
Only in Australia can you tell anyone to **** off and walk away |
Without being Shot 
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CLICK HERE TO SEE MY NEW CAR
Holden 2000 VTII Berlina
