Swearing at Work

[kowan]

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


1.
Try Saying:
I think you could do with more training
Instead Of:
You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?

2.
Try Saying:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead Of:
She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch

3.
Try Saying:
Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of:
And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

4.
Try Saying:
I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of:
F*** off a*se-wipe

5.
Try Saying:
Really?
Instead Of:
Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole

6.
Try Saying:
Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of:
Tell someone who gives a f***.

7.
Try Saying:
I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of:
Not my f***ing problem, mate.

8.
Try Saying:
That's interesting.
Instead Of:
What the f***?

9.
Try Saying:
I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead Of:
No f***ing chance mate.

10.
Try Saying:
It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of:
Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?

11.
Try Saying:
He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of:
He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.

12.
Try Saying:
Excuse me, sir?
Instead Of:
Oi, f*** face.

13.
Try Saying:
Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
Instead Of:
Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.






Thank You.

[KingDiamond]

Hahaha I use most of the "Instead Ofs"

Good times.

[Boonz]

lol i use number 12 alot

[Sabby]

haha, my work says most of them anyways
and i also say what comes to my mind. great staff. but im surprised i havnt been fired yet

[BlackVXGTS]

Good ones.

[MTB]

number 11, the labour always cops that one

[xlr8_87]

hahahaha those are quality

[Lumps of cheese]

Hmmmm, 9 and 10 would be most popular with me i think.
There's some goodies there!

[NOT.BT1]

i use 4 6 and 7 all the time lol some of the rest are funny to might have to start using them aswell

[pugga]

thats some good advice there

[Boost_Babe777]

Haha, love it!!

[drewins]

Good one. It wouldnt suprise me if some workplaces were actually telling their workers that. The way this world is going

[lurkin308]

a1 stuff mate

[barbs]

good, stuff there, i could actually use some them recommended ones myself, stop me from grabbing my sentences half way before i drop it.