Bad Jokes!

[Jecs]

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
A. Robin, get in the car.

hahahaha that was so lame but hella funny

[NOT.BT1]

little bo peep lost her sheep
and didnt know where to find them
the big search reveiled they were in the next field
with the dirty big kiwi behind them


sorry to our kiwi members

[Grennan]

little bo peep lost her sheep
and didnt know where to find them
the big search reveiled they were in the next field
with the dirty big kiwi behind them


sorry to our kiwi members

Now theres a good kiwi joke.

[VNCalais98K]

Why did the scarecrow get a medal?

because he was outstanding in his field.

[Not_An_Abba_Fan]

Two eggs boiling in a pot, one says 'Gee it's hot in here' the other egg says 'wait til you get out, they smash your f****** head in !!'.

What's green and sits in a tree?
Gorilla snot.

What's white and hangs from power lines?
Telecum.

What's green and red and lays in the gutter?
Wounded boogey.

[matty88]

What's transperent and lies in the gutter?
A lawyer with the $hit kicked out of him.

What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.

What do you do if an epileptic falls in your swimming pool?
Throw in your laundry.

I know I know... bad jokes!

[VRSS]

What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.

What do you do if an epileptic falls in your swimming pool?
Throw in your laundry.

I know I know... bad jokes!

hahahah those 2 are hillarious!!

[Not_An_Abba_Fan]

The baby jokes are funny....but wrong. It's not until you have babies that you realize just how wrong they are.

Why are women's feet smaller than men's?
So she can stand closer to the sink.

What do you do if your wife was yelling at you in the lounge room?
The question is irrelevant. What is she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Whats the definition of a woman?
A life support system for her vag.

Why do they call them pap smears?
If they called it a **** scrape nobody would get one.

[VRSS]

what have you done wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag you?


... made her chain too long

[lukas pukas]

whats the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
you can negotiate with a terrorist

[kellyvk]

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? Nothing, except the orange is round.

Well, bananas are white inside, oranges are orange, tastes different, and one has a lot of sugar. (not a joke. just reply)

[kellyvk]

Ok, bad one i made up when i was cleaning banks. One vacuum cleaner said to another, "life really sucks these days". The other replied: "Well i just dont seem to be picking up like i used to".

[royall]

Wife: Honey! What are You Looking for in that paper ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

[belave]

wats the pommie crickiters best stroke?!.........sun stroke! haha

[JD]

got this one care of family guy

how many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

3.

one dirty stinking ape to change the light bulb
and two dirty stinking apes to throw faeces at each other!

[Jo3_Blo]

Wife: Honey! What are You Looking for in that paper ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

PMSL!

[burnz]

a farmer is suddenly confronted by a lion, he put's he's hand's together and pray's dear god don't let this lion eat me.

as he open's he's eye's only to see the lion with it's paw's together saying grace.

[Not_An_Abba_Fan]

A horse goes into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?"

[Jecs]

what does a woman look like after fornication?
ever tried to open a hot cheese sandwich...


what does a woman look like the night after
ever tried to open a cold, hot-cheese sandwich.

omfg hahahahahahahha

[azkwazere]

What was the first ever smoke signal?




"Oh **** my blanket's on FIRE!!"

What do you call a fish with no eye's?

A Ffssssshhhhhh

[Fr3ak+--]

Q. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

[CSP]

you blind a deer, what do you get?

no idea.

you amutate its legs, what is it now?

still no idea.

And cut off it's willy?

Still no f*cking idea!

[CSP]

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first koala
Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure

Why did the kangaroo die?

It was hit in the head by 3 Koalas.

[CSP]

What's blue and looks like a fridge?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket!

[CSP]

How do you hide an elephant?

Paint its toe nails red and put it in an apple tree!






How many times have you seen an elephant in an apple tree?

See it WORKS!