Definition of Pain??
Cinderalla's tampon turning back into a pumkin
What do you call an epilectic giving a BJ?
Protien Shake! (made that up myself ya know!)
What did one maori statue say to the other maori statue?
Statue bro!
what do you call a witch that lives at the beach?
A sandwich
what do you call an underwater spy?
James Pond!!
what do you call a man with a car on his shoulders?
Jack
what dou you call a man living under a pile of leaves??
russell
what do you call a guy that lives at your front door step??
matt
why did the orange stop rolling??
it ran out of juice
ps- i didnt read all the replys so sorry if ive said a joke that has already been said
what do bees use to fill up there cars BeePee
MY VY SV8 HBD http://forums.justcommodores.com.au/...y-sv8-hbd.html
how do you fit 3 gay guys on a stool?
turn the stool upside down
a piece of string walks into a bar and asks the bar tender for a beer. the bartender said he dont serve beer to string here.
the string left. 10 minutes later he came back in. "can i have a beer?" said the string. the bar tender replied "you were here 10 minutes ago an i said we wont serve you. get out"
the string walked around the back and tied his stomach into a knot and walked back into the bar.
"can i have a beer?" asked the string
"werent you the same piece of string that was in here 5 minutes ago?" replied the bartender
the string said back "im afraid KNOT"
Bye SV6 - still love you
Breaking news - Sam Toucan, Snap, Crackle, Pop, and Coco the monkey were found dead this morning.
Police are searching for a cereal killer.
New look ASR Website online now!!
www.asr-audio.com.au
.
Interior lighting and audio specialties
for VT/VX & VY/VZ Commodore / Monaro
********************************
NOW VE DASH LIGHTING CONVERSIONS!!
PLUS TECH2 DIAGNOSTIC SERVICES
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JBL Car Audio dealer
PAVTEK Race Engines
Q. How do you know when your to drunk to drive
A. When you swerve to miss a tree and realize its the f**ing air freshener hanging on your mirror....
1. JUST got banned from bunnings. I went in and some prick in a green apron asked me if i wanted decking. luckily i got the first punch in...
2. A women was in labour about to give birth and going off at her husband with the typical women crap... "You did this to me it's all your fault how could you put me through so much pain!?!!" etc... he turned around and laughed and said... as i recall i wanted to stick it in your ass but you said no it would be to painful, LOOK WHO"S LAUGHING NOW!...
3. Man buys a race horse and names it "My Face", a curious observer turns to him and asks.
"Why on earth would you call your race horse My Face?"
The man then replies.. "How else would you be able to get hundreds of drunk women at Flemington screaming "Come On My Face .. Come On My Face !?!"
ha ha ha i pmsl on number 3.Originally Posted by Jecs
SickVX
where do Bee's go to the toilet, BP station
VX Acclaim
my little sleeper
what did the farmer say to the cow on his roof?
get off my roof!!
what did the farmer say to the cow on his roof wearing sunglasses ???
nothing he dident reconize him.
It's A Me ' MARIO '
What do you do if an epileptic is having a fit in the bath?
Throw your clothes in !
the holden mechanic
who killed soldier boy?
YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!lame as...
buddaboy1990
how can u tell if there is a elephant in ya fridge?
foot prints in the butter.
how can u tell if there is 2 elephants in ya fridge?
2 sets of foot prints in the butter.
how can u tell if there is 3 elephants in ya fridge?
fridge door wont close.
Y was the elephant wearing sandals on the beach?
so he wont sink into the sand.
Y did the emu hav his head in the sand?
looking 4 the elephants that werent wearing their sandals.
Wat did the old cat say 2 the crying kitten?
U LITTLE P***Y.
WA Cruise Moderator
some of these are not that bad!
Didn't read them all but
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Coz they taste funny.
I found a Genie bottle and rubbed it, a beautiful Genie appeared and granted me 2 wishes, so I asked for a bird with long legs and a big ass, so she gave me an emu.
A bloke and his cat are sitting in the bar having a few, after the bloke shouted about 6 pots the barman asks "Hey mate why do you always shout?" the guy replies "Coz I told my wife I wanted a tighter pussy and this is what she gave me"
2 bloke's build a new pub in a town which has never had a pub before, after a few days of deciding what to call it they decided on the Queens Legs, it was the grand opening, so the entire town was lined up at the door waiting for it to open up and a out of towner asks the guy at the end of the line "Hey whats going on ere?" the man replies "Were just waiting for The Queens Legs to open so we can get a drink"
What does a Turban & Cricket bat have in common? nothing but they both look good wrapped round a Arabs head.
And....
Now if you can imagine,
It's as easy as can be,
The place was on the couch,
The time was half past 3.
I asked him would it hurt,
Or would it spot my dress,
He sad "Dont worry love, I'll try to avoid the mess,
It's hurting quite a bit now,
Tears are in my eyes,
It's hurting even more now,
I know he's telling lies.
Suddenly he gave a jerk,
And blood came pooring out,
My god thats a big one,
Glad he pulled it out.
Now if you listen carefully, I am sure you will find, this is just a dentist chair and not your dirty mind!
My sad joke
Q.What do you call an un-ripe Orange?
A. Yellow
What can I say, this is how interesting my work is (got bored and started staring at my lunch).
The Kicking Horse
Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
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I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttle****s.
Bad minton.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'. His dude replies 'You're lucky... Mine is still alive...'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; Bugger off, you won't bring it back.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes.
'Crikey mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My Wifes epileptic'
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep - A wooly jumper
Knock Knock, whos there, pizza, pizza who, you wana pizza me!!
Whats a cows best place - the moovies
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney - your too young to smoke
I dont drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and drugs. I breakout in handcuffs!
The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night.
Almost not here!
Nominated as the world’s best short joke of 2008 year.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.
White 05 V6 VZ Executive - Thrashed Ex Telstra car
and 3 Dangerous non ABS VN's
WA Cruise Moderator
Better than my 4 yr old asking if they were the grapes he had just eaten!
PAVTEK Race Engines
a little guy is sitting at a bar when all of a sudden a thug smacks him in the face and says "thats kung fu from china".
a bit later the thug smacks him again and says "thats karate from japan". the little guy gets up and leaves the bar.
a short time later he comes back and smacks the thug out cold and says to the bar man when that c**t wakes up tell him that was a f**king shovel from bunnings...
wizfiz
Likes Cheese...
Closed On Monday
omg! BEST JOKE EVER!!!!!!
volunteer firefighter
lol, very good
dont worry, il start a ride thread soon.
PAVTEK Race Engines
i was at an ATM and an old lady ask me if i could check her balance .....
so i pushed her over..
Why did the chicken cross the road..
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