macca's job aplication

[LindasBT1]

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted
at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they
hired him because
he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
Michael Ovitz style
severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and
we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen
pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and
Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better
suited to a more
intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I
be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here
would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the
Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm
the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that
now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

[NOT.BT1]

bahahahahahahaha i almost ****ed my pants reading that lmfao

[VZTHUNDER]

old but still funny
lmao gold

[jd hot stuff]

Lol thats a good one lmfao.

[VYBec]

Hahahahahahahahahaha............ Thats some funny S***!!!

[BOGANV8]

Thats funny as good to see he was being honest

[TheForgotten]

hahaha very well done

[AttaBoy]

Maybe I should try that at the local maccas last time I tried get a job but no go.