Quickies....
Two fish are in a tank and ones says to the other.."So err, you know how to drive this thing mate?"
A man walks into a bar and says ouch.
A terrorist walks into a bar and goes *BANG*
Two men walk into a bar. I'm surprised the second one didn't see it coming.
A seal walks into a club.
A cheeseburger walks into a bar and the bartender says.."Sorry mate, we don't serve food in here."
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad being tossed.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive."
Two baked beens went travelling around Australia. They ended up in Cairns.
An ugly woman enters a shop with her 2 kids and the shop keeper asks, "Are they twins?"
Woman says "No, he's fkn 9 and she's fkn 7. Why, do you think they fkn look alike?"
"No" he replys, "I just cant believe you've been fkd twice!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side... (duh...classic)
Why did the rooster cross the road?
Because he was fking the chicken..
How do you know when your at a gay BBQ?
All the sausages smell like sht
I went to a zoo the other day.
There was a small cage with a small dog yapping wildly.
It was a shtzu.
(drumrollllll...) BADOOM-BOOM-SCHHH....
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aiKz..
If you can't impress someone with your intelligence, confuse them with bull****
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