(From another forum..)

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. "He can play any musical instrument in the world".
Everyone at the bar laughs at the man, calling him an idiot. So he says he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus cant play.
A customer walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. The guitar owner pays up the $50.
Another customer walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis. The trumpet owner coughs up the $50.
Then Jim, a Scotsman, plonks some bagpipes on the table. The octopus fumbles with the bagpipes for a minute and then backs off with a confused look. "Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae play it ?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it ?, I'm going to f**k it as soon as I can figure out how to get its pyjamas off".