People and their drinks

[Jaslyn]

IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB ... (NOT AT HOME)

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
C.O.C.KTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.
WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.
WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.
SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you’re in!
CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......
SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they’ll think you’re a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!

IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.
CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
IMPORTED BEER
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid
WINE
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
PORT
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
WHISKY/JACK DANIELS
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
JIM BEAM
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

[GAMBLR]

lol gold roflmao

[stockies]

hahahah!!!! thats mad!!

Sadly most of my friends can be seperated into those groups...






I'm a vodka or brandy man meself.

[daron]

oh oh i drink smurof ice

[stocky]

hmm i should start drinking guinness......hey whered everyone go..

[Grennan]

Hahaha thats great.

Im a Jim Beam drinker, as well as Whiskey and Scotch... But have been drinking Jager lately. Do i still want to get laid?

[Torquative]

Im a JD man ... haha this is too true

[garfa]

i will drink anything at the bar except guiness or tooheys new!

[Wagon_Wheel]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Damn that was funny, havnt laughed that hard for a week.

GUINNESSThe man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

BEST LINE EVER!!!

[Reaper]

Hmmm... I drink Jim Beam but don't know anything about this knitting/crochet crap.

Reaper

[kzh_lim]

hee..i like my whiskeys

[acarmody]

Hmmm I like Jack Daniels, agree with the "don't give two $hits" part, but always been rather passive.......unless they get in the way of getting laid. LOL just joking.

[MarzVP]

Hahahaha This is what i drink and thoose that know me will tell you I am unique.

SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you’re in!