A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a perch, it doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says, "I wonder what happened to this Parrot?".
The parrot says, "I was born this way, I'm a defective parrot".
The guy replies, "You actually understood and answered me?".
"Every word", says the parrot, "I happen to be a highly intelligent, well bred and thoroughly educated bird".
The guy asks, "Then how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?".
The parrot says, "This is very embarrassing, don't tell anyone but since you asked, I wrap my willie around the wood perch like a little hook, you can't see because my feathers are covering it".
"Wow" says the guy, "You really can understand and speak English, can't you?".
"Actually, I speak French, Spanish and English and can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sport, physics, philosophy, I'm especially good at ornithology". "You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion".
The guy looks at the $200 price tag, "Sorry, but I just can't afford that".
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me because I don't have any legs or feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!".
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by and the parrot
is sensational.
He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's thoughtful, the guy is
delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this, but it's about your wife and the postman".
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a
sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately".
"WHAT!???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?".
"Well, then the postman came into the house put his hand up her nightie and
began fondling her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" the guy exclaims. "Then what?".
"Then he lifted her nightie up and began to KISS her all over, starting
with her breasts".
"Well,,???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?".

"Damned if I know".


"I got a hard-on and fell off my perch