Adult Fairy Tales

[bazcom]

Adult Fairy Tales




> CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
> her.
> As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,
> and
> promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the
> ball,
> but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
> Cinderella
> agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m.
> Any
> later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
> Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and
> goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella
> shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?"
> demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into
> a
> pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
> " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
> The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
> power!
> Tell me his name!"
> Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ..Peter, Peter, something
> or
> other..." ___________________________________________
>
> PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
> splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
> visit
> Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
> sandpaper
> wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
> A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
> town
> and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a
> girlfriend?"
> _____________________________________________
>
> LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
> Big
> Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
> throat,
> said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red
> Riding
> Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a 44 magnum
> and
> pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me,
> just
> like it says in the book."
> ____________________________________________
>
> MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
> to
> Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
> Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
> Goofy."
> ___________________________________________
>
> SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind
> him,
> knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to
> me!
> Lie to me!"
> ___________________________________________
>
> Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
> ____________________________________________
>
> One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
> and
> during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in sex.
> "What's that?" he asked.
> She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the
> trunk of a tree."
> Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you
> how
> to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and
> spread her legs.
> "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
> Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
> almighty
> kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she
> managed to
> gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Just checking for bees,"
> said
> Tarzan.
>

[AttaBoy]

Aaaarhahahaha GOLD!!!

[ephect]

lmao ahahahahah

[mag]

You cunny funt I nearly fell off the chair with the BEES ....