SEVEN DEGREES OF BLONDES









>> FIRST DEGREE

>>

>> A married couple were asleep when the

>>phone rang at 2 in the morning.

>> The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up

>>the phone, listened a moment

>> and said, "How should I know, that's 200

>>miles from here!" and hung up.

>>

>> The husband said, "Who was that?"

>>

>> The wife said, "I don't know, some woman

>>wanting to know if the coast is

>> clear."

>>

>>

>>

>>`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

>> -,_

>> ,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*

>>

>> SECOND DEGREE

>>

>> Two blondes are walking down the street.

>>One notices a compact on

>> the sidewalk and leans down to pick it

>>up. She opens it, looks in the

>> mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks

>>familiar."

>>

>> The second blonde says, "Here, let me

>>see!"

>>

>> So the first blonde hands her the

>>compact.

>>

>> The second one looks in the mirror and

>>says, "You dummy, it's me!"

>>

>>

>>`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-

>> ,

>> _,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*

>>

>> THIRD DEGREE

>>

>> A blonde suspects her boyfriend of

>>cheating on her, so she goes out and

>> buys a gun. She goes to his apartment

>>unexpectedly and when she opens

>> the door she finds him in the arms of a

>>redhead. Well, the blonde is

>> really

>> angry. She opens her purse to take out

>>the gun, and as she does so, she

>> is

>> overcome with grief. She takes the gun

>>and puts it to her head.

>>

>> The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do

>>it!!!"

>>

>> The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're

>>next!"

>>

>>

>>

>>`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

>> -.,

>> ! _,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*

>>

>> FOURTH DEGREE

>>

>> A blonde was bragging about her knowledge

>>of state capitals.

>> She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I

>>know all of them."

>>

>> A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of

>>Wisconsin?"

>>

>> The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

>>

>>

>>`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

>> -.,

>> _,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*

>>

>> FIFTH DEGREE

>>

>> What ! did the blonde ask her doctor when

>>he told her she was pregnant?

>> "Is it mine?"

>>

>>`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

>> -.,

>> _,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*

>>

>> SIXTH DEGREE

>>

>> Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a

>>UCLA freshman, sat in her US

>> government class. The professor asked

>>Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.

>> Wade was about.

>>

>> Bambi pondered the question then finally

>>said, "That was the decision

>> George Washington had to make before he

>>crossed the Delaware."

>>

>>

>>

>>`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:

>> -.,

>> _,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*

>>

>> SEVENTH DEGREE

>>

>> Returning home from work, a blonde was

>>shocked to find her house

>> ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned

>>the police at once and reported the

>> crime.

>>

>> The police dispatcher broadcast the call

>>on the radio, and a K-9 unit,

>> patrolling nearby was the first to

>>respond. As the K-9 officer approached

>> the house with his dog on a leash, the

>>blonde ran out on the porch,

>> shuddered at the sight of the cop and his

>>dog, then sat down on the

>> steps.

>>

>> Putting her face in her hands, she

>>moaned, "I come home to find all my

>> possessions stolen. I call the police for

>>help, and what do they do?

>>

>> They send me a BLIND policeman."

>>