> >> >>A blonde is taking flying lessons and has progressed enough >>to solo. She solo's the first time, no problem. The second >>time, no problem. >> >>She show's up for the third time and notices that there's no >>planes. She finds her flight instructor and says, "Hey, >>there are no planes! What am I supposed to do?" >> >>"Well, there's a helicopter out there and you've flown >>enough that you shouldn't have any trouble flying that." >> >>So, she goes out and fires up the helicopter and takes off. >> >>She climbs to one thousand feet. Two thousand feet. Then >>three thousand feet! All of a sudden the helicopter plummets >>and lands in a tree! >> >>The flight instructor runs out and pulls the blonde from the >>helicopter. "What happened? You were doing so well." >> >>"Well, I got to one thousand feet, no problem. Two thousand >>feet, no problem. Then I hit three thousand feet." >> >>"What went wrong?" >> >>"I don't know. I got cold, so I turned off the ceiling fan... >> >> >> >>.
This is a good joke, a Townsville Murrie elder told us in the office.

There was a murrie family living in Garbutt.

It was Wednesday Morning and the garbage bins hadn't been put out.



A young fella was sitting on the front steps when the garbage truck came
along.

The driver called out to him, "Where's ya bin?"



The young fella yelled out back to him " I bin on holidays."

The driver yells out again, "No, Where's ya bin?"



The young fell replies again "I bin on holidays"

The driver yells out for the last time, "No, Where's ya Wheely Bin?"



The young fella yells out back to him "Well I wheely bin in JAIL, but I
tell everybody,

I have been on HOLIDAYS!!"

Answering machine at a mental hospital Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... 1. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. 2. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. 3. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. 4. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. 5. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. 6. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. 7. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer. 8. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. 10. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.