Facelift

[holdensupporter2005]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th
birthday

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the
results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a
newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you
don't mind my asking,
but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
the counter girl
the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops
in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes
up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk
this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she
proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old
man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies,'I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although,
when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell
how old a woman was.

It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me
put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I
tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts
out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins
to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces
and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each
nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them
against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay,
okay...How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was
incredible, how you could tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't,' she says.

'I was behind you in McDonald's.'