20 dollars...

[Wombat]

A little old lady is walking down the street, carrying two obviously heavily loaded plastic shopping bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in the bottom of one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is dropping out of it onto the pavement.Noticing this, a policeman stops her....
"Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag...
"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can gather them up. Thanks for the warning!"
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? It isn't wise to walk around with that much cash."
"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "I'm on my way to the bank to deposit it. You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a whole bunch of drunken fans come and pee through the my 6 foot tall wood paling fence, right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with my electric hedge clipper and gardening gloves on, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the gap in the palings, I grab hold of it, turn on the clippers and let them hear it buzzing away, and say loudly: $20 or off it comes! It sure gives them a fright!"
"Hey, not a bad idea! But I should really warn you that if they continue doing this, you should really call the police and we'll put a stop to it." laughs the cop. "By the way, what's in the other bag? More money?"
"Oh no. Well, you see," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up."

[VZTHUNDER]

old but still good lol

[BOY1236]

Thank God Muslims don't drink

[Astranomical]

I always knew there was a reason I'm not into sports...