LADIES, CAN YO HANDLE THIS??Men VS Women. The Girls are not gonna like this!!!!!!!

[Rhino Racing]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Feminist............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun..................................Annoying
Gentle..............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet.................................Depressive
Professional.......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker
Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
So Fricken true! (Puts faceshield on and sits down quickly to avoid anal stumping!) YIKES!

[TheForgotten]

hahahahaha oh so true.....

[daron]

hahahah gold
love it
and yes troo

[UNKNOWN]

Very nice, Girlfriend even got a laugh out of it!!!

[CANYONERO]

i'll def pay that....

[davesv6]

kin hilarious so tru

[Wagon_Wheel]

Hahaha very nice, and very true

[Reaper]

And you think this is a joke???? Welcome to my life! I get 1 - 9 of women-speak daily!

Reaper

[Rhino Racing]

And you think this is a joke???? Welcome to my life! I get 1 - 9 of women-speak daily!

Reaper

HAHAAHAHHA! You poor guy!
I reckon my ex was: A beautiful, fun, open minded, professional poet with a contagious smile, but when we split up she became emotionally secure and just wanted a soul mate!!!!

Anyone else want to tell us what ur ex was like??

[jas98]

Anyone else want to tell us what ur ex was like??

umm had 4 fingers and a thumb if i remember correctly jk

[Lumps of cheese]

Haha, yes very good and true.

[immortality]

And you think this is a joke???? Welcome to my life! I get 1 - 9 of women-speak daily!

Reaper

i'll 2nd that

[quick308]

HAHAAHAHHA! You poor guy!
I reckon my ex was: A beautiful, fun, open minded, professional poet with a contagious smile, but when we split up she became emotionally secure and just wanted a soul mate!!!!

Anyone else want to tell us what ur ex was like??

a selfish, self righteous, lier, a cheater and extremly insecure yep thats my ex. when i broke it off i was so happy like a big weight lifted of my shoulders. im in no rush to find someone else ripped the stuffing outta me that did lol. live and you learn i spose never rush into a relationship big big mistake

[Reaper]

.... oops - wrong cut and paste....

Reaper

[Kikki]

I wonder if my hubby has seen this yet? SO true!